Marius' Corner

The Teacher Becomes the Taught

2012-01-16T07:39:00.002-05:00

When I was 3 or 4 years old my father got us in a car crash. We had just come home from something or other, and our cat was on top of the table, and I wanted to hold her. So I pulled her down to me. Of course, being just a toddler I didn't know how to handle a cat in such a way, she thought she was falling, put out her claws, and scratched my eye. I don't remember much of this, just vague impressions, but my mother later told me there was a lot of blood and crying, and my dad panicked and threw us in the car and raced for the hospital. Unfortunately, due to his belief that my eyeball had been shredded, he ignored one too many stop signs and we got t-boned. The police took my mother and me to the hospital and it turned out that the cat had only nicked my eyelid and I was perfectly fine. All my life I never fully appreciated that incident, and kinda wondered why my normally rational father would lose his shit so. Yesterday I found out. Sharon's fingernails have needed trimming for a while now, but my up-close vision has degraded to the point that even with glasses it's very hard for me to see her whisper-thin, yet oh-so-sharp nails. But my wife has been sick of late and hasn't been up to doing much of anything, so I put on two pairs of glasses and figured I'd give it a go. The first clip went ok, or so I thought, but slowly Sharon's face went from baby neutral to a soul-shredding frown of ultimate unhappiness and she began screaming in pain. Looking more closely I saw I had taken a nip out of the end of her thumb, and it was starting to bleed. I felt like I was the worst, most horrible daddy ever, and as I held my screaming baby to my chest, knowing that she was screaming because of me, the myriad of emotions flooding me completely ripped any rationality from my mind. Anger, confusion, terror all blotted out my usually analytical thought processes, and all I could do was move in random directions while trying to comfort the wailing creature in my arms. My poor teenager made the mistake of being visible and I yelled at her in my frustration, sending her to her room in tears. Fortunately this only lasted a few minutes, and I calmed down enough to finally get myself together and take care of the injury...a bit of hydrogen peroxide and a way-too-big Band-Aid did the trick...and apologize to the COA, but I felt like the lowest of the low all the rest of the day. I know that should this be my worst day as a daddy I'll be very lucky, but I also hope that my complete losing of my shit over such a relatively minor thing will help me to not do so in the future if/when something serious happens. And dad, if you are still out there and are watching, I get it now.

Why I Hurt My Baby

2011-12-30T06:54:00.002-05:00

Little Sharon was lying on the crinkly paper covered exam table. She'd stoically endured pokes, and prods, and cold stethoscope intrusions, and even swallowed the oral vaccine without complaint. But then it was time for the shots. I hadn't been there for the first round of them, so I didn't know what to expect. I held her little hands as the doctor stuck the three tiny needles into her thighs. I will never forget the red-faced wailing of my darling girl, or the look of utter anguish and hurt on her face. I squeezed her hands, fought back my instinct to grab her and flee, or fight off her assailant, and tried my best to reassure her that it would be all right. The shots were given quickly, and in a few seconds I was holding my crying baby in my arms, rocking her and trying to soothe her. I tried to comfort myself with the knowledge that she will almost certainly not remember anything about this day, though I know that I will almost certainly never forget. The rest of the day she was grumpy and uncomfortable; made all the worse by the nasty cold she has. Last night neither my wife nor I got much sleep as Sharon slept fitfully, noisily, and woke frequently due to her stuffed up nose. But, in two months when it's time for her next round of shots I'll willingly, if not exactly gladly, do it all again. I know that with the exception of this relatively small amount of pain and discomfort I am protecting my little girl from rotavirus, hepatitis b, haemophilus influenzae, polio, diphtheria, tetanus, and pertussis. Any of these can be fatal or crippling, and I will continue to do everything I can to protect my darling baby from the ravages of easily preventable diseases. And if you are on the fence about vaccinating your kids I urge you to do your homework. Look at the volumes of data compiled over nearly a century that vouch for the safety and efficacy of vaccines. I also urge you to ignore celebrities who have no medical credentials whatsoever, yet choose to spread falsehoods and bad science. Vaccines are safe, effective, and vital to the survival of our children.

I will now put the soapbox away.

And Now Your Moment of Zen

2011-12-17T05:37:00.002-05:00

I'm posting this on because it worked for me today.

A Dr. on TV said to have inner peace we should always finish things we start & we all could use more calm in our lives.

I looked around my house to find things I'd started & hadn't finished, so I finished off a bottle of Merlot, a bottle of Chardonnay, a bodle of Baileys, a butle of wum, tha mainder of Valiuminun prscriptuns, an a box a chocletz.

Yu haf no idr how fablus I feel rite now.

Sned this to all who need inner piss. An telum u luvem.

My Cat is a Sloppy Drunk

2011-12-16T19:28:00.004-05:00

If Artemis could meow 'I love you, motherfucker. No, really, I mean it, man.' she would. It's nearly Christmas, and since we've decided to go down to South Florida so my dad and some others can meet Sharon, Artemis is having her annual urinary tract infection. So we found a vet nearby and I put the poor dear in the carrier and paid the good doctor a visit. After the normal prodding, and squeezing, and listening, and, now that I think about it, no thermometer work, the doctor suggested something no one else had. Apparently some cats have a thing called lower urinary tract disease, which acts an awful lot like a UTI, but without bacteria involved. And given Artemis's history of frequent flare ups she is a likely candidate, so rather than antibiotics we have her on painkillers to ease the symptoms and see if it runs its course and subsides on its own. The side effect to the narcotic pain killers is that my cat is stoned out of her tiny kitty mind. When she's not sleeping she's even more affectionate than ever, and she is a very loving kitty, and there have been a lot of kitty kisses and hand grabbing. It's quite amusing, actually. When asked what can trigger such flare ups, the doctor said stress, usually. And what can stress a cat out? Stuff like a new baby in the house. D'oh!

Other than that all is quiet. I'm done for the semester, so I'm on full-time-daddy duty. Sharon has finally mastered blowing raspberries, much to my amusement and my wife's dismay, and the little imp now realizes how much it amuses me, and pthbthbthbthbs whenever she sees me. It's freaking adorable!!

Almost as adorable as this:

TTFN

Marius

Politicraziness

2011-12-06T06:38:00.004-05:00

I know I said that I would post an entry every time flurrious did, and some of you might have noticed that she did so just last week, but I did not, but she posted again this week, and it's part 2 of last week's post, so I'm still good, right? Right? *le sigh*

Anyway, the real reason I haven't posted anything is that I'm trying to not be that obnoxious new dad who only ever talks about The Baby(insert golden light from above and a heavenly choir here) You know that guy. Has a wallet full of photos that are all nearly identical, brags about the latest bowel movement stats like her diaper is an NBA court, already knows what college she'll attend, etc. The truth is I AM that guy, but I've been subjected to enough of that over the years that I'm actively fighting it...and mostly succeeding. But, and I hope you'll forgive me this one indulgence, ain't she cute?

Anyway, I have a theory about the latest spate of Republican nutjobs competing for the GOP nomination for 2012. They all seem irredeemably insane, and this has puzzled me for a while, because even at his back-woodsy nuttiest, George W. Bush never acted as batshit crazy as this bunch. But I think I have it figured out. Unseating an incumbent president is historically difficult, and the GOP doesn't seem to have a truly viable candidate right now, so what if they're trotting out the lunatic fringe that keeps begging to sit at the adult's table so that when they inevitably get trounced by Obama then they can legitimately tell them next time that they had their chance, and they need to slink back into the basement while the grownups handle the real work of sucking corporate di...um, funding.

Either that or the whole party is just a bunch of whack jobs.

Either way it's entertaining as hell, but I will miss Herman Cain.

Peace, y'all.
Marius

Someone (else) Think of the Children!!

2011-11-26T07:18:00.003-05:00

I've been in the parenting biz for nearly a decade now, not that this makes me an expert by any stretch, but there is one thing I've noticed. Lots of people constantly bemoan that this world is too dangerous for 'the children'. As a newly minted 'daddy' I certainly can understand the inclination to view the world through the prism of how everything will affect my daughter, but I also temper that with the very real fact that it is MY job to protect and teach her. Now I will grant you that there are some things that have been enacted to protect children that I 100% support: fire resistance regulations, paint lead content maximums, and car seat legislation all work to protect children from unscrupulous corporations, or idiot parents. I also agree with some governmental oversight of public schools...note that I said 'some'. But lately it seems that any and everything that could possibly be harmful, or even mildly inconvenient for children must be wrapped in foam, or covered in warnings, or hidden behind a plain brown wrapper, or not put on the air until 2:15am. Speaking as a parent I say KNOCK IT OFF!!!! For every wailing mother on the TV who cries out 'Won't someone think of the children?!' I put in the missing word...'else'. Won't someone else think of my children so I don't have to. And even when someone else does do everything reasonably possible to protect their little snowflakes it's still not enough. Video game companies bent over backwards to rate games so that parents could see at a glance if they were appropriate for their darling, impressionable little cupcakes, yet when my wife worked at K-Mart she frequently sold Grand Theft Auto to parents who then turned around and handed it to their 8 year old, even after being verbally warned by my wife that it probably wasn't age appropriate. And, of course, after watching Ghandi, Jr. cap a hooker and then run over a priest, the fault was laid squarely on the store for selling the game in the first place. It's just sad.

I try my best to keep my children's lives as innocent as possible for as long as possible, but I don't expect the government to do that for me. Everyone screams that they want less government interference in their lives, at least until they have to actually get off their fat asses and show a little parental responsibility, then it's all 'the government didn't do enough to prevent little Johnny from seeing a nipple for 3 milliseconds during a football game'. Yet these are the same yahoos who will haul their toddlers to see The Guts and Boobs Killer XVIII in 3D Gore-Around(tm) without a second thought. This shit used to bug me when I was single, now it just totally pisses me off. And I know I'm preaching to the choir here, but at least I'm getting it off my chest, and getting another blog post out there, so win/win, no?

Anyway, I have some bottles to wash while Sharon is asleep for a bit. Ciao, y'all!

Marius

And So This Is Chrisgiving...wait, what?!

2011-11-24T13:53:00.003-05:00

I'm going to jump on the bandwagon here and bitch a bit about all the Christmas stuff being dragged out before Thanksgiving. This is nothing more than a shallow, transparent marketing ploy, much like tomorrow's Black Friday nonsense, that seeks to capitalize on the American public's easily manipulated nature. I'll admit it seems to be working brilliantly, so I'm tempted to say more power to them. I mean if people are dumb enough to let the retailers dictate their lives who am I to complain? But I realized as I heard my first radio ad to the tune of Jingle Bells yesterday that I hate, Hate, HATE advertisements set to Christmas song tunes, and when they start playing that shit a week before Thanksgiving, well it just pisses me off.

However, this is not supposed to be a rant. Instead I'd like to say that I am thankful for so much in my life. No, things are not where I'd like them to be, but I have wonderful friends, a great job that at least pays the bills, a roof over my head, and the most amazingly amazing little baby daughter any man could wish for. My family loves me, and I them, my students at least pretend to like me ( ;-) ) and my cats adore me. I have a turkey breast in the Crock Pot, and two pies in the fridge, and this:

I'm out of beer, but I have a bottle of mead, and the Dolphins are playing in two hours. I have a wildly successful podcast, and my car still runs even after driving the equivalent of a trip to the moon with her. I have two phasers, a communicator, and a tricorder, and I know how to use them all. So all in all life is pretty damned good. Thank you to all of you who still come around my cobweb festooned corner of the interwebs, and I wish you a very happy Thanksgiving...even if you're not in the US since we could all use a bit more gratefulness in our lives.

Hugs to all,
Marius

Randomness Revisited

2011-11-16T06:29:00.003-05:00

Well, gentle, patient, and probably absent readers, I am going to make a concerted effort to rise up above the piles of Pampers, rubber nipples, and spit-up stained shirts to blog atcha once again. The wonderful, talented, and slightly scary flurrious has, through no fault of her own, become my goad. Whenever she posts a blog, I shall do likewise. I might even try to do so more often, but at the very least when the meerkats cry, so shall I.

So what's up? I've noticed something strange about being a new parent. Most parents I know go nuts with pictures and stories about their little bundles of joy for most of the first year of baby's life, but after a while things start to blur together. I took tons of pics of little Sharon, even sharing some with you wonderful folks, but I started to notice that her repertoire of activities is pretty much limited to laying down, being carried, and sleeping. Yes I got some shots of her smiling, which just melts my jaded old daddy-heart, but even that got rather repetitious. So this is my pledge to you...I shall not barrage you with shot after shot of Sharon doing...well...not much, really. When she does something particularly cute, such as this:

...then shall I share it. But otherwise, and henceforth in this post I shall try to avoid the constant baby-babble that is the hallmark of the new parent.

Part of the problem with being a new parent, however, is that you find your world narrows in focus to the dimensions of your house, and maybe the car seat. When we're home most of our activities revolve around either getting the baby to sleep, or not waking her up. It's very strange. This has had the effect of cutting me off from the outside world so that I have very little to say about current events. The Occupy Whereever movement seems to be losing its momentum, since people are very good at getting used to annoyances when they last long enough, and I'm sure the gold plated assholes who are the targets of the protests couldn't care less if a thousand unwashed people are yelling at them from across the street. I know the press is trying to play up the police actions of kicking the protesters out of parks and such, but that's their job. No one is telling them they can't protest, but if I wanted to set up a tent in the local park I'd be told to go home too. Free speech is free speech, but if a public park does not allow camping, and you are camping there, and the local constabulary asks you to leave, you're not being oppressed...you're breaking the law. Anyway I can sympathize with the protests, at least with the ones who are being rational. I have no problem with wealthy people being wealthy, and I don't support the enforced redistribution of wealth, but when the banks accepted our money to save their sorry asses, and then shit on us from the gold plated windows of their mansions, then fuck them! But I don't suppose that would look too good on a picket sign.

The state of Florida killed a murderer yesterday. He'd only been on death row since 1989 for killing a woman and her two teenaged daughters, so yay for swift justice. I'm no fan of the death penalty in principal, but I have to wonder if knowing that you'll get at least 20 years before the sentence is carried doesn't lessen the deterrent effect just a tiny bit.

The holiday season looms anon. I don't know how I feel about that just yet. The years since my mom died have been lackluster at best at Christmas time, but maybe the baby will help rekindle the yule log in my soul.

Ok, that's all for now. Go visit flurrious and tell her how much you like her blog...and you will, trust me...and encourage her to post more oftenly so I can. :-)

Peace out, y'all,
Marius

Of Injections and Baby Stats

2011-10-21T07:46:00.003-04:00

So Sharon is two months old now. She had her first round of vaccinations yesterday, and while I see no evidence of her gaining any super powers, neither does she seem to be any the worse for wear, so we'll call it a wash. Coincidentally I got a flu shot yesterday, and I also cannot perform any superhuman stunts. Sad, I know. As for Sharon's current stats, she is 10.8 pounds, and 21 inches long. She eats like a horse, and can already scoot all around her crib at night while she's sleeping. We finally bit the bullet and invested in a motion monitor that goes under her mattress so she can sleep on her tummy and we'll know immediately if she stops breathing. It has allowed all of us to actually get some sleep, although still not enough. Today she woke up at 2:30am, then at 4am, then made enough noise at 5am that I thought she was waking up, and so I got up, made her a bottle, and when I went to get her she was sound asleep. Methinks once she's mobile we'll have quite a little handful.(and I kind of pity the cats)

She can be quite grumpy sometimes, but then she turns on her crippling cuteness rays, and all is rainbows and puppies. Here, allow me to demonstrate:

Mrs. Marius is in her first week back to work, and I think she's glad to be doing something other than transporting and feeding our little darling. I have a show opening in two weeks, but the build is going well, so the stress level isn't too bad. I could just use a little more sleep. :-)

Peace out, y'all.
Marius

More Babyness

2011-10-08T22:17:00.004-04:00

Things I've learned in the past 6 weeks:

When people learn you're having a baby they all say 'well, guess you won't be sleeping much' or words to that effect, but what they don't tell you is that you will get plenty of sleep, just in 45 minute increments...which is far more mind-crushing than just staying up all night.

I used to think that people who took their babies out in public with only a diaper on were lazy parents. Now, after changing diapers on the average of every 25-45 minutes I wonder why we ever bother to put clothes on her. And wouldn't Velcro make more sense in the diaper region of onesies than snaps?

"Shhh, you'll wake the baby!" Carries more weight in my world now than "Run, the missiles are coming" would.

When Sharon smiled at her mother for the first time yesterday, and I mean a real, "Hey, I know you and I like you" smile, my heart nearly exploded with joy. And when she gave me a smile this morning, I almost wept.

Until she is more aware of her environment, which is happening very gradually, we can't plan to do anything. Even typing on the computer is contingent on her either being asleep, like now, or being with Mrs. Marius.

We took many precautions to make sure the cats didn't bother the baby, but they are either indifferent to her so far, or actively afraid, so it hasn't been an issue.

I never could have anticipated my feelings for Sharon. Even at her most frustrating I can't imagine life without her anymore. When I'm at work, while part of me is relieved at having both arms free and not being damp with regurgitated formula, I miss her every minute, and can't wait to get home to her.

Oh, and for you statisticians, she's just under 10 pounds, and probably about 21-21" or so now.

And now I'm going to make a mad dash for the bathroom before she wakes up again.

Love y'all!
Marius

Starbaby Update

2011-09-18T21:17:00.003-04:00

So, it's quiet. The living room is dark and the TV off for the first time in weeks it seems. My Mother-In-Law, who came down a week before Sharon was born, just left to go back to Mississississississippi (sorry, I never know when to stop with the i-s-ses) and I took first shift with the baby and sent Mrs. Marius to bed. We're trying to get Sharon to sleep on her back and not on one of us, and we have had some modicum of success. She still won't go to sleep on her own, but if we time it right and put her in the play pen after she's asleep we can sometimes get her to stay there. But for most of her three weeks of life she's been in someone's arms, with the TV and at least one light on. So now it's dark, quiet, and aside from a few squeaks and grunts over the baby monitor it's been about 45 minutes without any complaint. I don't dare hope for an all night snooze, but if she'll sleep for at least another hour I know the missus will appreciate it.

Otherwise it's been a fairly normal few weeks. Work is going well, and my class seems to be a good bunch so far. My brother stopped by last week to meet his new niece and took me to lunch, and we haven't invaded any more sovereign nations lately, so I'll call it a win for now.

And now I'm going to watch some more of the Wild Wild West DVD that's in my disc drive, but let me leave you with some more pics of my world's most adorable baby. :-)

Baby Sharon Is Born

2011-09-01T09:46:00.004-04:00

So here's what happened. Last Saturday, August 27th, 2011, began like most other days. I got up, had coffee, cut the grass, etc. My mother-in-law was here to help Mrs. Marius in the last weeks of her pregnancy, and nothing seemed amiss. Around three in the afternoon my wife mentioned that she was having strong, regular contractions, and so we began timing and monitoring, and this time not freaking out. Finally, around five, it became clear that this was really, really labor, and we went to the hospital. By six we were in the labor/delivery room. Imagine a large hotel room, only with a linoleum floor, and medical instruments built into the furniture. For the first couple of hours it was just my wife, me, and an occasional visit by the nurse. Eventually the doctor came in, who was very nice and reminded me of the stock 'female Asian doctor' on just about every medical show I've ever seen with a little bit of Hoshi Sato mixed in, and she examined my wife. Mrs. M was dilated to 7cm, which is close but not quite to the needed 10cm, so we waited a bit more. The contractions were painful, but not too severe, and I did my best to keep her breathing and comfortable. Eventually the doctor decided to speed things up a bit and broke my wife's water. Contrary to popular myth most women's water never breaks until delivery, but sometimes the doctor will make just a tiny hole in the amniotic sac with what looks like a plastic crochet hook and allow the fluid to come out. This usually triggers active labor, and boy howdy did it ever! Within minutes my wife was in full labor, crying out in pain, and ready to get that baby out. Maybe half an hour later things shifted into overdrive. Several nurses and the doctor swooped in and began doing all kinds of things. A tray of scary looking instruments was uncovered, and the sound of latex gloves snapping drifted over my wife's sounds of pain. I stroked her head and murmured encouragement, but my ability to assist anyone at that point was essentially nil. The nurses took over coaching, and soon my wife was pushing, and crying, and straining. We didn't opt for the mirror since neither of us really felt the need for a front row seat, but it wasn't long before I saw the top of the baby's head poking out. Two more pushes and suddenly a squidgy, bloody, slimy, crying creature was pulled from my wife's body. The team swiftly and expertly cleaned her off and within two or three minutes Sharon Elizabeth was laying on her mommy's chest. I confess that more than a tear or two rolled down my face at the sight of our daughter. Mrs. M became very calm and relaxed as soon as Sharon was there, but the work wasn't quite over. If you've never been through childbirth you may not realize that the placenta does not come out when the baby does, and it takes a few minutes before it is delivered, but I didn't even notice when that happened, and I'm not sure my wife did, either. There there was a bit of stitching up to do since there was a little bit of damage during the birth, and then almost as suddenly as it started, the whirlwind of activity was done, and it was just us and one nurse again. They let Sharon nurse for the first time before weighing and measuring her, and then we gathered up our stuff, and our baby, and went to the recovery room. All told I think we were in the delivery room for about four or five hours.

The recovery rooms in this hospital are even more like hotel rooms. The bed is, of course, a hospital bed, but the room is smaller, with comfy chairs, a pull-out sofa, softer lighting, and a wide-screen tv. We settled in and the nurses brought my wife crackers and juice, and then started taking vitals for both mommy and baby, and we began to get to know our new arrival. That night we didn't sleep much, but not because of Sharon. The baby was very quiet, but about every hour or two someone would come in to take a reading, or measurement, or check something, or get something signed, etc. Hospitals are not conducive to resting, but we both managed to grab a couple of hours of sleep anyway.

The next morning my mother-in-law came over to meet her new granddaughter, and our 13-year-old got to meet her half-sister. Everybody loves the baby, though my wife was getting quite sore as Sharon was demanding to eat nearly hourly. Eventually I went home and my mother-in-law stayed with Mrs. M and Sharon for the second night. Monday morning I ran some errands and then went to the hospital. It took some time to get all the paperwork sorted, but by about 1pm the discharge papers were done, and we took our baby home for the first time. She did fine in the car, and since she can't really see much beside blurry light and blurry dark the surroundings didn't really affect her. She sleeps, she eats, she poops, she generally waits til we have her diaper off and then pees. All normal stuff for a newborn. She squeaks, and grunts, and burps, and farts, and cries, and burbles, and is the most beautiful, amazing, gorgeous creature I've ever seen. I didn't expect to be so moved by her presence, after all I've been relatively indifferent to children most of my adult life, but I know that if an army of orcs were coming after her, and all I had was a plastic spork and a single shoelace, there would be a twenty foot high wall of dead orcs around me before any of them laid so much as a finger on her. I freely admit that I am in full-on first time parent mode, worrying about everything that might hurt or even inconvenience her, but I don't care. This tiny, helpless human needs me to be ever vigilant, and even though I rationally know that I can't protect her from every possible threat, I'll do my damndest to try. As for my wife, she is recovering quite well, and while we don't exactly fight over who gets to hold the baby 'this time', I know we both consider it to be the greatest thing in the world to do. Of course, since she is the baby's food dispenser, she has quite the edge on me. :-)

That's all for now. You can be assured, or warned, that there will be numerous posts in the future about Sharon and her growth. After all, it is highly doubtful there will be another baby in this house, and I'm going to make sure we all get the most out of this experience as possible, including, and especially Sharon.

Peace out, y'all.

Daddy Marius the Incredibly Proud and Lucky

Sit Rep

2011-08-27T07:08:00.002-04:00

It's 7:09am on a Saturday. The fans are all desperately trying to make the house less than oven-like, and the cicadas outside sound like a hundred-thousand toy phasers all wearing their batteries out. Mrs. Marius, her mother, and the COA* are all asleep, and the KOA** have been fed and have ceased to pester me for more. I take this brief respite in the insanity to sit back as assess. We like this house, despite the lack of central a/c, and I, at least, seem to be acclimating to being hotter. At first we ran the window units a lot, but I quickly learned that cooling one room to a comfortable temperature meant moving to another room was like stepping into Hell's foyer. Now we mostly use them in the bedrooms at night. Otherwise the rooms are big, and the tile floors silent. This is a big deal since my wife and I have such different hours. I can creep across the bedroom in the dark and not worry about creaks and moans...other than from my knees...waking her up. The cats love the huge screened-in porch, and the front yard is big enough for the COA to play in, but only takes about thirty minutes to mow. We're mostly unpacked, though my office is still the repository of many unpacked, or at least uncategorized items that we haven't quite figured out where to put. The baby's room is nearly done. I have some curtains to install today, and the a/c unit for her room will come out of layaway soon. Of course she won't really be using her room for a while, so we still have some time on that front.

And speaking of the bun in the oven, there really isn't anything to say yet. There have been no more false labor alarms, and life has returned to something resembling normalcy...whateverthehell that means. Hopefully the dress rehearsal we had on Monday will create more of a sense of calm competency when the real moment arrives.

Work is still in the pre-production phase, but the students will be returning all next week, and classes start up again on the 5th. I'm looking forward to seeing my kids again, although I already miss those that graduated back in May. Ah well, that's the blessing and curse of teaching in college. You forge real friendships with your students, then release them into the world, in all likelihood never seeing them in person again. But I wouldn't trade this gig for the world.

And I hear someone puttering about in the kitchen, thus the magic quiet time ends. Have a groovy weekend, dear readers. See you soon.

Marius

*Child-O-The Apocalypse
**Kitties-O-The Apocalypse

Starbaby Update

2011-08-25T08:34:00.003-04:00

So on Monday I got home from work around 5ish, which is usual, and wanted nothing more than to get my shoes off and have a beer. I had picked up some groceries, and was heading into the kitchen to put them away when my mother-in-law, who has come to stay with us for the duration of the pregnancy, said, "Em's bag is packed and by the door." Being as yet in the dark I spake, "Why?" "She's been having contractions for about an hour now" quoth she. Now we have had classes about this very situation, and have discussed how and what to do and when, but as soon as I heard the above words I ceased being the calm voice of reason in a crisis, and turned into Rob Petrie.
(Google him, kids) All the knowledge and training went right out the window and I started bouncing off walls, throwing things into my bag, and generally doing everything but boil towels. We tried to time the contractions, but when the next one came in less than five minutes we called the doctor, the hospital, and then departed. Whilst on the way to the hospital, about a 30 minute drive, I called my family to let them know that 'this is it'. Upon our arrival at the hospital I dropped my wife off at the front door, and went to park. I eventually rejoined her, laden like the pack mule I was, and we were ushered back to triage. Forms were filled out, and biometrics read, and thence on to the examination room. Ere long a nurse arrived, put sensors around my wife's belly, and the baby's rapid heartbeat and whooshy squirmings filled the room. But, something wasn't quite right. My wife was on 1/10th as dilated as she should be were this really labor. The doctor advised we wait for a couple of hours and then check again. We did, and they did, and nothing. They call it Braxton Hicks contractions, or false labor. Everyone assured us that this happens all the time, and we shouldn't be embarrassed, but the baby was not ready to join us outside just yet. So, four hours later, we arrived back home. My wife was in decent spirits, but I was a little bit broken. I'd been unconsciously gearing myself up for the moment when I could spring into action, and then be the pillar of support for my wife, and then all that tension just sputtered. I've been something of an emotional Pachinko game all week as a result, with anxiety and anger vying for dominance, but I'm finally settling down. Pregnancy, it turns out, is not just a trial for the mom, although I would in no way compare my travails to hers, but there is a very real emotional drain on me as the father that I did not expect. It is safe to say that we are all very, very ready for little Sharon to breathe the air, and see the sun, and let us begin being her mommy and daddy.

Oh, and that's also why I haven't been posting or podcasting. But I'll be back soon, and hopefully with pics of a squirmy, noisy, hungry little she-creature.

Be groovy, folks.
Marius

30 Days of Female Awesomeness:Day 13: Favourite Female Character In A Book

2011-08-19T22:31:00.001-04:00

Sorry, folks. This challenge is getting annoying. Not because of the subject matter, but it just seems to go in circles. This may be my last entry on this subject, who knows? Anyway, I was trying to decide who my favorite literary female is, and a couple of characters leapt to mind. Nicole DesJardins from the Rendezvous with Rama sequels by Arthur C. Clark and Friday from the book of the same name by Robert Heinlein immediately began vying for my attention, but they are pretty much the same as most of the ladies I've mentioned already. Beautiful, heroic, strong, etc. So I tried thinking beyond this pattern and one character rose to the surface. Many of you know how fond I am of the Dune series, by Frank Herbert, and also by his son Brian. There is one character in those books who, to me, stands out above all the rest. No, it's not Chani, or Countess Fenring, or even Lady Jessica...it's The Reverend Mother Gaius Helen Mohiam. She is the first to suspect that Paul Atreides is the Kwisatz Haderach, as well as being truthsayer to the Padisha Emperor Shaddam Corrino IV, and she represents the Bene Gesserit sisterhood in the first two books Dune and Dune:Messiah. But in the prequels, penned by Brian Herbert and based on Frank Herbert's copious notes, it is seen that she is one of the main driving forces behind the events that shake a galactic empire to its foundations, and bring the status quo to its knees. I won't spoil, since I highly recommend the Brian Herbert/Kevin J. Anderson books, but she is far more than the silver-toothed crone depicted in that abominable David Lynch movie, or those laughable SyFy mini-series. She has a strength that borders on monomania, yet even she feels. Especially when she must commit atrocities in the name of furthering the Bene Gesserit breeding program. She is not a sympathetic character, nor a particularly likeable person, but her character is amazing in the depths of emotion and drive, and is the unnoticed linchpin of the entire Dune story. She is also one of the best written female characters I've ever read, since she is not there to be comic relief or a convenient sex toy...although there is a very interesting coupling that occurs between her and a prominent figure...but I say too much already. So if you're a Dune fan read the prequels and then tell me if I chose poorly. And if you haven't read Dune yet, let me know and I'll send you my copy. It's a book everyone with even a passing interest in Science Fiction should read.

30 Days of Female Awesomeness:Day 12: Favourite Female Character In A Movie

2011-08-17T19:42:00.003-04:00

Sorry I'm late on this one, folks. Been a bit busy, and I've been grappling with the repetition monster again. My favorite female character in a movie is Ellen Ripley, but since I've already spoken of her I'll move one notch down the ladder to a relative newcomer...Penny in Dr. Horrible's Sing-A-Long Blog. Penny is the ingenue of the Whedon brothers' internet experiment that features Neil Patrick Harris, Nathan Fillion, and Felicia Day as Penny. The story follows the exploits of Dr. Horrible, a super villain wannabe, played by Harris, and his struggle with Captain Hammer, played by Fillion. And between these two opposites is Penny, an innocent helper of the poor who gets caught in the crossfire. This was the first time I'd seen Felicia Day in anything, and I was immediately smitten. She's attractive, but not classically beautiful. She nerdy, and flighty, and totally adorable, but plays the character with real depth and truth. Plus she's good at the comedy. I've since seen her in her web series, The Guild, and Eureka, as well as a SyFy movie called Red:Werewolf Hunter. To be honest I'd have never made it to the end of Red if she weren't in it, but crap movie that it is she did a great job. So, anyway, if you haven't seen Dr. Horrible, check it out. It's only 42 minutes long or so, has some great songs, and also has my second favorite female character in a movie.

Horribly,
Marius

30 Days of Female Awesomeness:Day 11: Favourite Female Character In A Children’s Show

2011-08-16T21:38:00.004-04:00

Sorry I missed yesterday, folks. My favorite female character in a children's show has got to be Velma from Scooby Doo. I've always liked the nerdy, smart girls, and if certain areas of recent pop culture are to be believed, I'm not alone. (and no, I'm not talking about the Scooby Doo porn parody)(and yes, there is a Scooby Doo porn parody...and no I'm not going to link to it) Velma has, over the past few years, gotten a makeover and become not just a myopic, latex mask yoinking bookworm, but a sexy myopic, latex mask yoinking bookworm, and I could not be happier. Yes, this is piggy me shining through, but Daphne and Ginger have held the hotness spotlight long enough! It's time for Velma, and Mary Anne, and Sabrina to get the hot-blooded, libidinous oogling they deserve!

Um...ahem...sorry, I seem to have lost control a bit here. So, yeah, I've, um, always been a fan of Velma...and I think I should just say good night here.

;-)
Marius

30 Days of Female Awesomeness:Day 10: Favourite Female Character In A Scifi / Supernatural Show

2011-08-14T20:54:00.003-04:00

This may come as something of a shock, but this entry won't be from Star Trek. Sadly one of Trek's largest failings is the paucity of well-written female characters. I think I may also have played my Kaylee hand too soon, but rather than repeat I'll go with my first runner up: Zoe Washburn from Firefly. She is the second-in-command aboard Serenity, and has been Mal's right hand person since long before the events of the series. She is beautifully played by Gina Torres who can do no wrong in my 'verse, and while she may not be the biggest person on Serenity, she is the one I'd least like to piss off. You may have noticed a bit of repetition in my descriptions of the characters in this list, and that is because I am drawn to depth and dichotomy in the characters I like the most. Torres played Zoe with a near-perfect balance of femininity and grit, all wrapped up in a big ball of honesty that left you wondering why such an amazing person was caught up with a scruffy looking nerf herder like Reynolds. Yet her loyalty to Mal is only slightly superseded by her loyalty to her husband, and when those two loyalties came into conflict was when she shone brightest. Again, if you haven't seen Firefly yet, get thee to Netflix.

That is all.
Marius

30 Days of Female Awesomeness:Day 9: Favourite Female Character In A Drama Show

2011-08-13T22:13:00.003-04:00

Emily Deschanel's character Temperance 'Bones' Brennan on the show Bones. She's like a gorgeous, female Spock. It seems the only type of show more prevalent on the networks than reality shows are the procedurals; the CSINCISSVULGBTQ's and such. Bones is one such show, although I'd argue that it is more Science Fiction given the level of technology they use. But that's beside the point. Deschanel's performance as the forensic genius could have been a carbon copy of Nimoy's iconic Vulcan...hell, even some of her lines sound like they were ripped right out of a Star Trek script, but she expertly plays the subtextural warmth under the cold clinical shell of Brennan so well that it's almost as much fun to watch for moments when the person shines out from under the mask as it is to watch the crew solve crimes. If you like your crime scene investigation shows, and haven't seen Bones, I highly recommend it...but be warned. Unless you have a strong stomach, don't watch the show while eating. It could be...unpleasant.

See ya tomorrow,
Marius

30 Days of Female Awesomeness:Day 8: Favourite Female Character In A Comedy Show

2011-08-12T09:51:00.002-04:00

This is another toughie as there are so many to chose from, but when I think about the character that always grabs my attention on screen I have to go with Donna Pinciotti, played by Laura Prepon, on That 70's Show. Physical attractiveness aside, Prepon brought a depth and strength to Donna that belied the stoner sensibilities of the show. She knew just how far to let the boys go before snapping them back into reality, but when the time came for vulnerability and true emotion she handled that with subtlety and true talent. It took a little while for The 70's Show to grow on me, but Prepon was one of the main reasons I didn't turn away. I'd always thought that she would be the break-out star of the show, and looking at her IMDB page I see that she has been working steadily since it went off the air, but I earnestly hope that there are bigger things ahead for her.

Could You Choose?

2011-08-11T08:26:00.002-04:00

This is an explanation of why there was no entry yesterday.

Imagine this scenario: You are in your 70's, you have been a heavy smoker all your life, and have had an aortic aneurism repaired a decade ago. You have tried to stop smoking, but every attempt has failed and you now have severe emphysema. While being checked for a lung infection it is discovered that you have a new aortic aneurism that could kill you at any time, plus there appear to be shadows on your lungs that are quite probably cancer. Your choices are:
1. Have the aneurism fixed, and die slowly over the next three years from the emphysema and/or cancer.

2. Do nothing, and know that most people with aneurisms like this last a year at the outside, but it could also go in the next thirty seconds, but when it does there will be no pain, just some dizziness and then unconsciousness.

Could you make that choice?

I just got home yesterday from visiting one of my oldest and dearest friends. She has been Mom to me since I was 16 years old. She has been my Dungeon Master, my counselor, my mentor, and my friend. She was one of the only people who could recognize when I was in trouble with the heat whilst fighting in tournaments, and was always there with a hug, a smile, and a gentle word of admonishment when necessary. I love her dearly, and fortunately she knows it. And the choice above is one she has had to make. She has chosen to let nature take its course, and will not have surgery. She has let everyone who is important to her know about the decision, and is making her peace with the world. The good part is she lives just far enough away that it needs to be an overnight visit, so I kept putting off going up, and this lit a fire under my ass. It was a very nice visit. My wife and I went, so she got to spend some time with Mom, and they talked pregnancy and children and such. We took her to breakfast, and though we did discuss her situation frankly and dispassionately, we didn't dwell on it. She is taking it as easy as she can, and we have promised to bring the baby up there for her to meet as soon as is possible, and then we came home. The odd thing was I didn't start to feel strange until about half way home. Last night I was glum, and irritable, but not in any 'God Damn You, Universe!' kind of way. I think it's more a 'helpless and useless' kind of way. I spoke with my brother last night and told him. He hasn't seen her in years and years, but he's actually the one who introduced me to her, and then we recorded a podcast, which always cheers me up.

Our time with anyone is always limited, but it's a very different feeling when you know just how limited the time with a specific person will be. And I can only imagine what she's going through, but this has also brought people back to her who might have waited too long and not had a chance to say 'I love you' one more time, and that has to be a good thing.

I'll be back with 30 days thing tomorrow. Now go give someone you've been taking for granted a big hug and tell them you love them.

Marius

30 Days of Female Awesomeness:Day 7: A Female Character That Needs More Screen Time

2011-08-09T08:39:00.002-04:00

Captain Rachel Garrett, commanding officer of the USS Enterprise, NCC-1701-C. She only appeared briefly in the third season of Star Trek: The Next Generation on the episode Yesterday's Enterprise. This was one of my favorite Star Trek episodes largely due to Tricia O'Neil's portrayal as Capt. Garrett. She was intense, poised, and not afraid of a fight, but she did not come off as a 'man with breasts' as is often the case with strong female characters in Star Trek. She didn't get much time to flesh out her character, but what time she had was used to perfection. I have always wished that there could have been more episodes, or even a series featuring Capt. Garrett and the Enterprise-C, but, of course even if that happened now they'd have to find someone else to play her. But if the performance were good, and the writing solid, I'd watch. Oh, who am I kidding? If any new Trek happened I'd watch. ;-) Anyway, Captain Rachel Garrett, you are the character I wish got more screen time.

Marius

ps
I also agree with Suzie Plakson that we should have gotten to see the fight between Duras and K'Ehleyr.

30 Days Of Female Awesomeness: Day 6: Favourite Female Driven Show

2011-08-08T09:40:00.003-04:00

Buffy The Vampire Slayer. It's the story of a normal, everyday cheerleader named Buffy who discovers that she has special abilities and strengths that enable her to find, and destroy vampires and other demons. If you've not heard of this show then let me welcome you to Earth. For the rest of you homo sapiens I'm sure you have at least an understanding about the show. The titular character, played by Sarah Michelle Gellar, my look like your average teen, but she played Buffy with a seriousness and solemnity, and sometimes whimsy, that made the show the raging success it was. Added to that the stellar portrayal of Willow, played by Allison Hannigan, whose journey from ordinary bookworm to powerful witch helped make the show so much more than a weekly stake-fest. I'd say this is a female driven show, because the many of the main characters are female, but it's less about gender and more about just people. Joss Whedon, the show's creator, did a magnificent job showing teenagers dealing with all the normal angst and hassles of high school life, while also having to fight off hordes of the undead, demons, demigods, and various other manifestations of evil, as well as romance, loss, homosexuality, death, rebirth, etc. In Buffy's seven seasons they skillfully portrayed just about every twist and turn a teen's life can face and kept the characters real and believable in the face of the unreal, and unbelievable. If you've never seen it, I urge you to give it a watch. And if, like me, you haven't seen it since it first aired, give it another go. It's well worth the time.

Hasta manana!
Marius

30 Days Of Female Awesomeness:Favourite Female Character On A Male Driven Show

2011-08-07T20:05:00.002-04:00

I'm going to go with Kaley Cuaco's character on The Big Bang Theory, Penny. One of the reasons I was so reluctant to watch TBBT was because Penny seemed to be a two-dimensional sitcom cliche character. Attractive, stupid, blonde-next-door whose sole purpose was to bring in the 18-24 horny male demographic. But once I finally started watching the show I found Penny to be much more than a pair of tits and a nice ass. She's a well rounded, for a sitcom anyway, character with nuance, and occasional subtlety. And her relationship with Leonard, rather than being a distraction, is one of the main engines for driving the plot of the series. I certainly won't deny that Ms. Cuaco is also a knock-out, but that is even used to drive the story as opposed to just having her around to be ogled, and as an actor Cuaco does a beautiful job, especially when the time comes for some good, old-fashioned raw emotion. So if, like me, you have stayed away from The Big Bang Theory partly due to the appearance of trite bimboism from Penny, let me assure you that she is much, much more.

See ya tomorrow,
Marius

Fatass In Repose

2011-08-06T16:48:00.001-04:00

I think Starbuck has gotten used to the new place, don't you?

30 Days of Female Awesomeness:Day 4: A Female Character You Relate To

2011-08-06T16:32:00.003-04:00

I'm going to have to go with Ellen Ripley for this one. If you don't know who she is, Ripley was the Warrant Officer on board the space tug Nostromo, the unlucky ship that discovered the Alien, and spawned a series of films, books, and comics. At least in Alien and Aliens I completely got Ripley. With the possible exception of going back for the cat in Alien all of her actions, from not letting Kane back aboard to the ultimate destruction of the Nostromo made perfect sense to me. I felt like I would have reacted in exactly the same way she did...although she did have an unfortunate tendency to warn the bad guys that she was going to expose them, with near fatal consequences. Of course Alien 3 threw all of that out of the airlock, and Alien 4 I'd just as soon not think about, but for the first two films I really liked, respected, and related to Ripley.

30 Days Of Female Awesomeness: Day 3: Favourite Female Character In A Canon You Gave Up On

2011-08-05T13:31:00.002-04:00

This one turned my brain into a bit of a pretzel, then the clouds parted and clarity was restored, in spite of horrifically mixed metaphors. Gwen Cooper, played by Eve Myles, one of the only surviving regulars of the Doctor Who spin off, Torchwood. Gwen is an ex-cop who is drawn into the reality-bending universe of the show by the immortal, and impossibly good looking, Captain Jack Harkness. Gwen is a strong, gorgeous, and capable character who is trying to juggle fighting aliens and interdimensional forces and having a family. Myles does a fantastic job as an actor, but I just don't care about the show. One of the hallmarks of Torchwood is that you can't really get attached to any of the main characters because...and this is a wee spoiler...all but the aforementioned Jack and Gwen have been killed during the shows three and a half seasons. Added to that this latest season is only playing on the STARZ network here in the states, which would require me to add $16/month to my cable package. Sadly as much as I admire Eve Myles, and like the character of Gwen Cooper, the show just isn't worth nearly $200. But there have been some good things in Torchwood in its previous seasons, and if you like Doctor Who but wish it was darker, give it a watch. Plus, if you like accents as much as I do, Eve's lovely Welsh accent will leave you a puddle on the sofa.

See y'all tomorrow.
Marius

30 Days Of Female Awesomeness: Day 2: Favourite Supporting Female Character

2011-08-04T12:54:00.002-04:00

Kaylee Frye, engineer/mechanic on board the privateer starship Serenity. If you haven't seen Firefly, and you call yourself a Science Fiction fan, WHAT THE HELL'S WRONG WITH YOU?!!! ...ahem...sorry. Anyway, Firefly was a fantastic series created by Joss Whedon in 2002 that ran on Fox for one season, and then got the axe. Like Star Trek before it Firefly was a show that was unappreciated during its run, but found great support after being cancelled. Enough support that Whedon was able to make a feature film, called Serenity, which tied up the loose ends. The crew are diverse and interesting, but Kaylee, the female mechanic, played by the ever wonderful Jewel Stait, was one of the most interesting. In addition to being a woman in a traditionally male role, she was both dainty and lusty, which are, again, not a usual combination in a TV show. She was never vulgar, but was no shrinking flower either, and kept the ship held together better than anyone. Imagine Jim Kirk, Montgomery Scott, and Scarlett O'Hara mixed together and you get Kaylee. She was my favorite Firefly character, and my favorite female supporting character.

A New '30 Days' Challenge...Female Awesomeness

2011-08-03T08:22:00.004-04:00

Let it be said that I like women. Not in the usual piggy male way, although I cannot claim to be completely without the testosterone fueled, lizard-brain lustthink, but I've just always preferred the company of women. I prefer to have a mostly female crew in my shop because they tend to be less flighty, more detail oriented, and less likely to come in with a concussion because the previous night's drunken parkour session landed them face-down in the parking lot. Most of my closest friends are women, and I have always related better to women than to men. Maybe it's because my mom was a single mom for a lot of my formative years, maybe it's because I am not into most traditional guy things like cars and sports, or maybe it's just because I have an acute sense of smell, and boys are stinky. Whatever, I like women. So without further preamble, the next month's worth of posts shall be thus:

30 Days Of Female Awesomeness

Day 1: Favourite Lead Female Character.
Day 2: Favourite Supporting Female Character.
Day 3: Favourite Female Character In A Canon You Gave Up On
Day 4: A Female Character You Relate To
Day 5: Favourite Female Character On A Male Driven Show
Day 6: Favourite Female Driven Show
Day 7: A Female Character That Needs More Screen Time
Day 8: Favourite Female Character In A Comedy Show
Day 9: Favourite Female Character In A Drama Show
Day 10: Favourite Female Character In A Scifi / Supernatural Show
Day 11: Favourite Female Character In A Children’s Show
Day 12: Favourite Female Character In A Movie
Day 13: Favourite Female Character In A Book
Day 14: Favourite Older Female Character
Day 15: Favorite Female Character Growth Arc
Day 16: Favourite Mother Character
Day 17: Favourite Warrior Female Character
Day 18: Favourite Non Warrior Female Character
Day 19: Favourite Non Human Female Character
Day 20: Favourite Female Antagonist
Day 21: Favourite Female Character Screwed Over By Canon
Day 22: Favourite Female Character You Love But Everyone Else Hates
Day 23: Favourite Female Platonic Relationship
Day 24: Favourite Female Romantic Relationship
Day 25: Favorite Mother / Daughter And / Or Sister Relationship
Day 26: Favourite Classical Female Character ( From Pre 20th Century Literature Or Mythology Or The Like )
Day 27: A Female Character You Have Extensive Personal Canon For
Day 28: Favourite Female Writer ( Television, Books, Movies, etc. )
Day 29: A Female Centric Fic Rec
Day 30: Whatever You’d like!

Day 1: Favourite* Lead Female Character.

This is a toughie because there are so many from which to choose, but I think I'll keep it simple here at the beginning and go with Princess Leia from Star Wars. Not only was she smart, strong, and beautiful, but her no-nonsense attitude set her apart from the usual 'convenient hostage' type of female protagonist of the time. She was my first cinematic crush, and was one of the main reasons that I saw Star Wars at least twenty times before it finally left the cinema. Now here's something I've never told anyone before. I never really cared for her in the slave girl outfit in Return of the Jedi. Yes, Carrie Fischer was smoking hot in the costume, but I felt every ounce of Princess Leia's embarrassment and shame at being put in such a position, so that rather than being a titillating scene, it was just uncomfortable for me.

So that's my favorite lead female. Who is yours?

Peace,
Marius

*I cut and pasted this from a friend's blog in the UK, and I can't be bothered to change the spelling.

Cowboys and Aliens

2011-08-02T16:46:00.002-04:00

Here's a snippet of the script of Cowboys and Aliens*.

Harrison Ford: MumblegrumblemumblegrumbleYELLgrumblemumble. (translation: I'm rich and angry)

Daniel Craig: GrumblemumblegrowlmumblegrumbleSCREAMmumblegrumble. (translation: I don't know who I am, but I'm angry too)

Olivia Wilde: Sizzle!

Ok, so aside from the dueling growlers, Cowboys and Aliens was a fun way to kill a couple of hours on a Tuesday morning. I'd say that this review won't have any spoilers, but to be honest there really aren't much in the way of plot twists to spoil. Jon Favreau is obviously a fan of the Clint Eastwood school of Westerns, and hits just about every cliche:

Small town in the middle of nowhere...check.
One rich guys runs the town with an iron fist...check.
Rich guy's son is a spoiled prick...check.
Craggy faced men who never get their teeth more than two millimeters apart when speaking...check.
Magical Indian tribe...check.
Clancy Brown as the town's preacher and Sam Rockwell as the barkeep...che-Wait, what?!

You read right, folks. This movie has an amazing cast including two of my favorite, yet underrated actors. I'd have never recognized Clancy Brown if I didn't see his name in the credits, but Sam Rockwell is unmistakable in his role as the town nerd forced to pick up a gun. Actually everyone does a passable job in their roles, though to be honest I doubt anyone's acting muscles were overly strained. There isn't too much to tell about Cowboys and Aliens. It's a pretty standard Western about a failing town struggling under the boot heel of the one man with any money, until the amnesiac Craig shows up and suddenly flying machines start blowing the town up and capturing the inhabitants. Of course, you've seen the trailers, Craig has an alien superweapon stuck on his arm, and when he gets angry, he turns green and begins tearing out of his clothes...no, wait, wrong story...the thing activates and lets him blow up stuff with equal abandon. This movie is equal parts The Bourne Identity, Predator, and The Magnificent Seven, with a lot of Harrison Ford angrily chewing the shit out of the scenery. If anything in this movie surprises you then you are either twelve, or don't get out much, but what it does it does well. The effects are mostly well done, and the dialogue, while trite, suits the film. There are lots of 'splosions, very little gore, and only one very tame bit of nudity (sorry, boys) so this would be a good flick for the tweens, but it's probably a bit too much for young children. To be honest you could wait for the DVD or your preferred streaming video provider of choice, but as a cheap matinee you could do far worse. I'd give it 2.5 out of 5.

These Are the Voyages...

2011-07-22T09:51:00.016-04:00

Ok, y'all know that if I could live at the Kennedy Space Center I would, so guess where I was on Thursday? As mentioned previously I missed the launch of Atlantis, so Unkk graciously invited me over to view the landing. Since Atlantis was coming home in the wee small hours of Thursday morning I drove over Wednesday night. Unkkhouse is one of the most welcoming places in the known universe, and I had a great time with Unkkwife, Unkkchild, and the man himself. Something I don't know if I've mentioned about Daniel previously, but he, and his family, are the most generous and giving people you will ever meet. I hadn't been there an hour before he was bestowing upon me NASA tee shirts for every member of my family, and something incredible. Every shuttle has a flag designed for it...well, every shuttle except one. The Enterprise never got a flag since she never went into space. Never, that is, until now. Only 420 of them were made, and Unkk gave me one!

I was, to say the least, floored. The flag now hangs on the wall to my left:

I will treasure this flag always.

Shortly thereafter Unkkwife 'threw together' a delicious dinner, and great nomming was had. Finally around 1:40am she mentioned that we might want to get some sleep as we had to be up in a few hours. She is wise, and we retired. At 4:15 I was awakened and we watched the deorbit burn on the NASA Internet feed, then came to the realization that there was no point in going over to the space center as Atlantis would be touching down just after 5am, and sunrise wouldn't be for another hour, and unlike in movies spaceships don't light themselves. So we watched the landing on TV, and heard the twin sonic booms as they shook the house (which was freaking AWESOME!). We pondered going to breakfast until the Visitor Center opened, but decided that, being the old men we are, more sleep would not be unwelcome, so we went back to bed.

Around 10ish we sallied forth, hit up the BK lounge for some grub, and went to the Kennedy Space Center. It wasn't too crowded, since it was a Thursday morning, and we bee-lined it straight for Star Trek: The Exhibition. This is a touring museum of Star Trek props, costumes, and a full size mock up of the original Enterprise bridge. In between the exhibit and the entrance, however, is a motion-simulator ride where you are on a Starfleet shuttlecraft and have to fight the Borg. Of course we had to go on.

Sadly it was pretty weak sauce, with lame graphics, and no air conditioning to speak of, but it was free so we didn't complain too much. Thence we made our way to the TOS(The Original Series) display. The first thing you see when you enter is a full scale reproduction of the Guardian of Forever, from the episode City on the Edge of Forever. The best thing about this exhibit is that much of it is hands-on, so of course, we had to play:

I had to get just one more 'action' shot:

And as I did that, a gentleman just a tad older than me laughed and said, "Now there's a man who knows his Sci-Fi." We shared a chuckle at that.

Next were displays of props, costumes, and a beautiful model of the original Enterprise.

All of this was groovy, but the real thing I was there to see lay just ahead...the Enterprise...no bloody A, B, C, orrrr D...bridge. It is very hard to describe my emotions as I set foot into what was very obviously a museum reproduction, yet felt as familiar as my bedroom back in my parent's house. None of the buttons or switches worked, but that didn't matter. I was on the Enterprise! It may seem silly to you, but Star Trek has been an integral part of my life for as long as I can remember, and standing on this set, this construct of plywood and plastic, felt so right to me, so at home, so good. It was something I've been waiting my whole life for, yet never expected to be able to do. Here are the pics.

Then, finally, the moment I had dreamed of my whole life. I got to sit in the captain's chair.

The only way this could have been better was if I was in a Starfleet uniform, but being at one of my favorite places on Earth, sitting in the captain's chair of the original USS Enterprise, in the company of one of the grooviest humans on this planet was about as good as it gets for a geek like me.

We lingered about a bit more, then wandered across the way to the Next Generation display.

The last things in the display were some captain's chairs from Enterprise D, B, and a Klingon Bird of Prey. You could sit in the Klingon chair:

After that we went on the Shuttle Launch simulator, a ride I never tire of, then called it a day. Unkk and I recorded a podcast, and then I had to take my leave and return home. I cannot properly express my gratitude at the hospitality, generosity, and just-plain niceness of Daniel and his family. He has allowed me to see, experience, and have so many things that I never dreamed would be possible, and I thank him, Marina, and the Unkkchild for their unparallelled wonderfullness. And, dear readers, I thank you for sticking around. If you want to see more pics from my trip they are on my Facebook page: https://www.facebook.com/Rick.Marius.Tetrault So I'm going to end this novel now. We are still unpacking, but at least the cats seem to have mostly forgiven us for moving, and life is settling down into a semblance of normalcy. We are almost ready for baby Sharon to arrive, and Mrs. Marius is very ready to no longer be pregnant. One more month. :-) So that's all for now, dear friends. See you again real soon.

Live long, and prosper.
Marius

Unfoldment of Events

2011-07-10T07:20:00.003-04:00

Greetings, you gorgeous hunks of readers, you. And you too, Doug. It has certainly been an eventful time since last we met, and I apologize for my long absence from these hallowed halls of blogdom. But it's Sunday morning, it's still cool, and I have coffee, so lets share some syllables, shall we?

The biggest news is that we've moved. As you may recall, Mrs. Marius has come down with a case of persistent pregnancy, and though we tried to stay in our former digs, it became all-too clear that 2 bedrooms for four human beings was just not going to cut it. In my 47 years I've experienced most milestones of life, but this baby thing is virgin territory (hee hee) and I had no idea how much stuff babies need. You'd think that, being such small,squirmy things, they wouldn't need much room. HA! So we made the decision to seek a 3 bedroom place. Thus the anguish of finding out that the maximum we could afford, rent-wise, is considered low here in the the Tampa Bay area. We found a couple of hovels, and one seemed tolerable, but then the landlord, after trying to rush us into moving two weeks sooner than we were ready, ignored our application for 10 days! Keep in mind that we were living in a friend's town house, and were not just going to run out on her without a reasonable amount of notice. Two days after we had decided that the other landlord must have rented to someone else and just not bothered to tell us, we get a call asking if we still wanted the place, and if so we needed to move the next week. We politely told him to piss off. We were on the verge of abandoning the search, as the cut-off point for Mrs. Marius's ability to assist was fast approaching, when I put out a lament on Facebook asking if anyone knew of a suitable rental in a less than war torn area. Miraculously within minutes I heard from a colleague here in Saint Petersburg who was moving to a new house, and needed renters for his old place. So to cut a long story short, we are here now. It's a very nice little 3/2 with a great yard, quiet neighborhood, and it's only 10 minutes from where I work! The move was relatively smooth, and we had many wonderful people show up to help, and the cats have almost forgiven us. The only fly in the ointment is that this place doesn't have central air, and we are still experimenting with fans and the wall units to keep things comfortable without spending as much on electricity as we do on rent.

In other news, Friday was the final launch of the US space shuttle program. I was supposed to go over to Cape Canaveral to watch the launch with my friend Unkk, who works at NASA, but the weather was predicting a 70% chance that the launch would be scrubbed. Given the amount of work to be done here, and my wife's continued insistence on being pregnant, I decided that I'd wait for the inevitable scrub, and then go over for the next launch window. Usually, at this time of year, it's a no-brainer to count on afternoon thunderstorms down here, but not this time. Friday morning Atlantis leaped off the pad in a flawless launch, with me 200 miles away watching it on TV. And it was raining like hell here, so I couldn't even see her as a tiny, bright light in the sky. But I'll most likely be going over there for Atlantis' landing, which is something I've never done, so that will be cool.

And finally, thanks to a random encounter with my coworker J, I've landed a lighting design gig. She's doing the costumes for a show at a local theatre here in St. Pete, and we both just happened to stop by the school the other day and got to talking about it, and she mentioned that they needed an LD. I said I'd be willing, and they called. It's very short notice, as the show opens Thursday, so I'll be working my ass off this week, but it will finally get my work seen outside of the collegiate circles, and may lead to more freelance work in the future. Woot!

So those are the highlights of the past few weeks, my dear readers. Hopefully as the boxes slowly disappear, and normalcy regains a foothold...although in all honesty there will be a baby here very soon, so I suppose that's a vain thought...I'll blog more. And, speaking of the baby, little Sharon Elizabeth is doing very well, as is her mommy, and once she is with us on the outside I'm sure I'll have many a tale of adorableness, frustration, and foul excretions to share. So you have that to look forward to. :-)

Next week is our 9th anniversary, and we'll be going to see both the new Harry Potter movie (yay) and Transformers 3 (um...) so expect some movie reviewage as well.

OK, I need more coffee. Love and hugs to you all...yes, even you, Doug. ;-)

Peace,
Marius

Oh, one last thing. Netflix now has every Star Trek show except DS9 on it's streaming video. SWEET!!!

Theory vs Reality

2011-05-28T17:31:00.002-04:00

Here's how today was supposed to go: Wake up at 3:45am to drive Mrs. Marius to work. Come home, crash for a bit, then go to the airport at 10:45. Drop off the car, hide the key inside, and text the location to the Mrs. (who works at the airport), then go pick up the rental car I'd reserved for this weekend's festivities. *Begin Flashback* My friend Sam is getting married this weekend, and I was planning to attend. The nuptials are taking place in South Florida, and we decided it would be worth the $60-70 to rent a car for two days rather than put that much extra wear and tear on my 15 year old Hyperion. *End Flashback* Then take the rental back home for a leisurely couple of hours to pack an overnight bag, give myself a haircut, shave, shower, and then drive 3.5 hours to party like it's 1999.

Here's what actually happened. My wife woke me up on time, and I drove her to work. So far so good. I got a bit more sleep on the couch before Starbuck started meowing in my face, and Artemis decided to play with my toes.(she is NOT declawed) So I got up, fed them, made coffee, and settled in to read email, chat with Australia, and wake up. Then, about 9:30, my wife calls. She's feeling like crap, due to the ever growing creature in her innards, and they're sending her home. So, I go get her, drive her home, and then turn around and go back to get my rental. Hertz, apparently oblivious to it being Memorial Day weekend, didn't have enough people cleaning cars to have anything resembling a quick turnaround, so it took nearly 90 minutes to get my car. No worries, I still had a comfortable 45 minutes to get ready. Tight, but doable. So I begin my ablutions, cut my hair, shower, shave, and as I step out of the shower I hear my wife downstairs cry out, "The toilet overflowed again!" Back in December we had a similar incident when doing laundry. The washer started draining, and it all come out of the downstairs toilet. We eventually had to call a plumber, and it turned out to be roots in the pipes. He used a root cutting tool to clear them out, and after a pricey call to our landpeople all was well. We have been putting root killer down the loo ever since, but I guess it wasn't working very well. Fortunately the water that was bubbling up out of the bog was my shower water, so it was not gross, but it was everywhere. We used every towel in the house, and got the flow under control. I manned the plunger, hoping it was just a normal toilet clog, but the gaping hole in my palm is a mute, if painful testimony to the vanity of that wish. So I called the plumbers who did the deed previous, and was told that as soon as they spoke with our landpersons they'd send someone out. Well, this is a big SCA weekend, and our dear friends/landpeople are out in the woods working their asses off making sure lots of medievally bedecked folks are having the time of their lives, and thus are very far from both cell phones, and reception. So I realized I wasn't going anywhere, and took the rental car back. Hertz, being true to their name and mascot (anyone remember OJ hawking Hertz?) charged me a full day for the honor of having their car for 2 hours. While I took the car back my wife called Roto Rooter, a company who's babies I want to have, and they were here in no time. The pipes were cleared, the plumber was friendly and quick, and we have running water again. But my weekend is well and truly fucked, and the bank account is a home for moths again.

Yeah, first world problems, but annoying nonetheless. I hope your Memorial Day weekend is going better.

Marius the Grumpy

Pirates of the Caribbean IV: On Stranger Tides

2011-05-25T18:06:00.001-04:00

I just saw this today. It wasn’t bad, and it certainly did not suck the will to live out of me like number III did, but neither did it engage me emotionally at all. The visuals are all beautiful, and the script was passable, but I didn’t feel that anyone in the film cared about what they were doing, so consequently neither did I. Admittedly I went in with very, very low expectations, and was pleasantly surprised that it wasn’t a terrible movie, but when all was said and done I never once felt the slightest pang of concern for any of the characters, nor relief at any of the rescues, and I think I smirked two or three times, and chuckled quietly once.

Compare that to the first Pirates movie, which is still one of my favorite films, or the two sequels, which at least generated massive feelings of anger, rage, and WTFuckery, and I am forced to conclude that On Stranger Tides will be forgotten within a few weeks. And this is not a slight against the actors, either. Johnny Depp is hitting all the right notes as Capt. Jack Sparrow, but he seems to do it with all the feeling of an animatronic Disney robot. Geoffrey Rush’s Barbosa is as blustery and leering as ever, but it’s the bluster of a perfectly crafted waxwork. Penelope Cruz is beautiful, and puts me in mind of Valeria Galino or Catherine Zeta-Jones, but her breathy performance lacks any passion. Even Ian McShane’s Blackbeard is fun, and charismatic, yet when the time comes for his true evillness to manifest it just isn’t there But, that being said, the scenery is lush, the CGI flawless, and the mermaids stunning…if deadly. The technical aspects of this film are top notch, and though the ending is very derivative of a certain adventuresome archaeologist’s penultimate outing I wasn’t sorry I watched it. I only wish I was glad I did.

Scholastic Milestone

2011-05-23T06:45:00.003-04:00

September 1st of this year will mark a milestone for me. It will be the beginning of my fifth year at Eckerd College. I've never been at one job this long, and I don't see any signs that I'll be going anywhere else. I won't say ever, since always in motion is the future, but I will say that I have no desire to change jobs, and so long as the school and I agree on that, here is where I'll stay. Last night I went back through my blog entries as I was interviewing for, and then got this job, and everything that I said, and hoped about this gig has remained or been proven true. It's very groovy. :-)

Yesterday was also a milestone in that it was the first time I'd attended the commencement ceremonies. Every year since I started here I had intended to go to graduation, but the ceremony is held at 8am on a Sunday morning, and due to my wife's work schedule, the COA's lack of self control when left unattended, and the 'just five more minutes' syndrome when the alarm goes off at 4am on a Sunday, have all conspired to keep me away. This year, though, the students who were graduating all started when I did, so I've watched them go from somewhat scared and wide-eyed Freshmen to competent,capable, much less scared Seniors, and I felt it was both my duty, and my pleasure to be there on their special day. It is an understood reality for teachers that we must say goodbye to our students. Most of the time there is little emotion involved, other than a handshake a a wishing of luck in the future, but there are those rare occasions when a student becomes a friend, and the parting is particularly bittersweet. We are happy for, and proud of our students, but there is a sadness when those special few move on, and this was one such time. That is not to say that there haven't been students who's departure left a hole in my heart before this year, but I think this is the first time that so many of our graduates had made such an impact on me. So I hauled my ass out of bed at 4am, hit the road at 6, and was in my office by 6:30. The campus filled with parents, grandparents, friends, family, and assorted support staff very quickly. My colleagues donned their robes and mortar boards, and went to process in. I honestly don't know if I'm expected/allowed to join in the procession as I exist in a gray area between faculty and staff, so I just donned something denim-free and joined the audience. The ceremony was, as usual at such things, not the most exciting event, and being as it was staged in a huge tent outdoors the temperature rose quickly with the climbing sun. Speeches were spoke, awards were awarded (congrats, Lauren), and honorary degrees conferred. Then came the time I was there for. The seniors rose, and the names began to be read. Christina was first, then Lauren, then Casey, then Luke, then Christy. I felt a flutter in my chest as each of their names were read, sadness and joy wrestling for dominance there. There were about five-hundred other names to be read, so it was not a quick morning, but eventually the class of 2011 was completed, and a huge roar went up from the crowd. Afterward hugs were dispensed, along with promises of staying in touch. We always say that, and in this age of Facebook and twitter it may even happen, but I cannot help but feel a bit saddened at the reality that chances are that yesterday was the last time I'll ever seem most of them. But the proud smiles on their faces, and the gleaming, brand new futures ahead of them make it all worth while. As much as I'll miss them, I know that each of them has a grand adventure ahead, and I wish them all success, happiness, and fulfillment. It has been an honor to work with them, and I thank them for making my job successful, happy, and fulfilling.

Happy trails, my friends.

Marius

Faith?

2011-05-21T10:03:00.003-04:00

What is faith? Don't worry, this is not going to be a screed against religion, nor am I going to dwell on this rapture nonesense, but the goings on of late have me wondering about faith. Believers tout it as the ultimate virtue, as if it were something you can acquire, but I don't have it, and I doubt, at this point, that I ever will. I have beliefs, to be sure. I believe in the physical laws of the universe. I believe in the properties of matter and energy that allowed life to form on this little ball of rock and gasses. I believe in the established behaviors of my friends and family, and I believe in my ability to predict, with a modicum of accuracy, most of my reactions to a given situation. But after nearly half a century of looking for evidence of the 'supernatural', and coming up empty, I find I don't have faith. I am a devotee of science, of fact, of provable, or at least plausible outcomes. I used to believe in the possibility of many things. I used to believe in the possibility of a large creature, hitherto unknown to modern science, that lived in a lake in Scotland. I cannot say it isn't there, but as the evidence has consistently remained absent, and as my understanding of the eco-system of Loch Ness has increased, I believe that the existence of a large, air-breathing creature of unknown taxonomy in the lake is highly unlikely. I cannot say that there is no Sasquatch, but again as the hard evidence has remained unattained, and the Bigfoot supporters put forth more and more impossible reasons for said lack of evidence, my belief in an undiscovered North American primate has dwindled. Likewise with ghosts, UFOs, ESP, and with anything religious. I have known many religious people who are filled with faith. I have known many 'religious' charlatans who claim to have faith, but use that claim as a tool for control, and not as a guide for righteousness. Sadly the latter have far outweighed the former in my experience. So, to me, faith seems more about blind obedience to authority rather than a virtuous belief in a benevolent deity. And while I can be as blinded by a charismatic leader as the next person, I like to think that eventually as the balance of evidence leans one way or the other, my opinion of said leader and his or her ideas will either wax or wane.
So where am I going with this? I'd like to say to those of you out there that have faith, good for you, but please understand that just because it comes naturally to you, it is not a universal constant. I have as much difficulty believing in an invisible entity that has provided no actual proof of its existence beyond the word of a few hundred zealots thousands of years ago as I do believing that aliens would travel billions of light years to this little backwater planet way out on the galactic rim just to buzz some rurals and steal some cow anuses. But, and here is the important bit, I won't ever say that your God does not exist, nor will I hold your faith against you so long as you understand my need for evidence and don't hold that against me.

Hope you're having a groovy rapture.
Marius

Suzie DidnWannaDoIt...But We're Glad She Did

2011-05-19T17:18:00.002-04:00

A couple of years ago we at Starbase 66 had the incredible pleasure of interviewing Suzie Plakson who played several of our favorite characters on various Star Treks, as well as tons of movies and TV shows, and it was of our most popular shows. She is such a dynamic personality as well as a woman of many talents, including singing and songwriting. Well last week she contacted me to tell us about her new music video, and asked me if we'd mind telling everyone in the world about it. Well, of course we don't mind, and actually she ended up coming on the show again and we had another fabulous chat with her (which you'll be able to hear on Monday, should you be so inclined). But, without further ado, here's Suzie Plakson's wonderful video. And if you dig it, go to SuziePlakson.com or iTunes where you can get the whole album.

Hee Hee

2011-05-16T06:20:00.003-04:00

I stole this from Camille Reads, who got it from the Girls Are Not Chicks coloring book.

Feline Dignity Revisited

2011-05-15T11:42:00.002-04:00

Since it's been a while, I give you Starbuck in all his dignified glory:

Yeah, I'm a TOS-er

2011-05-12T06:14:00.000-04:00

Many of you know that, in addition to being a famous blogger, amazing stage technician, and a 00 agent with a license to kill, I am also a podcaster. My show, Starbase 66, has been part of the Simply Syndicated network for nearly two years now, and one of the stipulations for our joining the network was that we would put up a weekly blog post on the SimSyn web site. This was forgotten in the craziness of the early days, but our fearless leader has finally called upon us to live up to that mandate, which means I need to get my blogging muscles back in shape and stop ignoring you wonderful folks in the process. So, on with the show.

Due to my line of work I have had to become something of a jack of all trades. I know a little bit about a lot of things, and a lot about a few things, but the only thing I would consider myself an expert in is Star Trek. I have been watching Star Trek for as long as I can remember, and while all of the series have been worthy, my heart will always belong to The Original Series(TOS). This is the show that started a 40+ year saga that shows no sign of ever leaving the public consciousness, but is also the most maligned and trivialized of the series due to it being 'camp' and 'cheap'. Well, I can't say that such accusations are totally false, but I can say that TOS was not always the light, silly bit of fluff many younger Trek fans make it out to be. So, in an effort to raise awareness of TOS, and to help folks who might simply dismiss it as not worth the effort to watch, I am going to review the series in its entirety, in the order it was aired. I will be giving air dates, synopses, and my reasons why you should, or should not watch any given episode. I will state that these are strictly my opinions and do not necessarily reflect those of Simply Syndicated, Starbase 66, the US or Canadian governments, or any other human being, and I welcome your opinions, especially when you disagree with me. So, without further preamble, on with the shows.
Title: The Man Trap
Air Date: September 8, 1966
Written By: George Clayton Johnson
Directed By: Marc Daniels
Synopsis: The USS Enterprise, commanded by Capt. James T. Kirk, makes a routine stop at planet M-113 to check on an archeological team consisting of Dr. Robert Crater and his wife Nancy, who is an old flame of ship’s Chief Medical Officer Dr. Leonard McCoy. Things seem strange immediately as everyone sees Nancy Crater differently. To McCoy she looks the same as she did when he last saw her years ago. To Kirk she looks like a handsome, but aging woman, and to Crewman Darnell she looks like a young woman he knew from a less than honorable shore leave. Soon Darnell is dead , having had all the salt removed from his body, and the search for the killer begins on the planet, and later onboard the Enterprise.
Why you should watch: This was the fourth episode filmed, but NBC wanted ‘strange new worlds’ for the premier, so they chose The Man Trap to introduce Star Trek to the world. It had an alien planet, and a scary monster, as well as some good exposition about the ship and crew, including the first sparring match between Uhura and Spock.
Opinion: This is not my favorite episode, though I’ve always been impressed with the design of the salt vampire costume. As with any new series the actors were still figuring out who their characters were, and the special effects, especially the phasers, were a bit wonky, but overall this is well worth a watch, and a good introduction to the Star Trek universe.

God of Thunder

2011-05-11T07:28:00.002-04:00

We saw Thor yesterday. I enjoyed it very much. Don't worry, I won't spoiler it here, not that there is that much to spoil. I mean, this is A) A comic book movie, and B) A summer blockbuster, so we're not talking overly complicated plot lines and deep, meaningful subtext. What we are talking is incredibly hunky guys, lots of fiberglass armor, swords, spears, monsters, 'splosions, and a surprising lack of female titillation. The three main women in the movie, Natalie Portman, Jaime Alexander, and Renee Russo all spend the film wearing...gasp...clothes! Chris Hemsworth, on the other hand, spends at least one scene wearing only a pair of jeans that he probably had to endure some uncomfortable manscaping to avoid the R rating in, but he didn't seem to mind. Compared to Marvel's other offerings to date I'd say that Thor is not as well crafted as Iron Man 1, nor as mindless as The Incredible Hulk, but has plenty of action, a touch of (slightly) unmotivated romance, and CGI effects that, for once, look pretty damned good. My only quibble, and this may just be a result of my own unfamiliarity with the source material, is that a lot seems to go on that is not explained. But, then again, this is one part of the puzzle that Marvel is building, and maybe all will be tied up in a later film. But as fun, sometimes silly live action cartoon movies go, Thor gets one big hammer-of-the-gods up from me.

Let the summer games begin!

Marius

Ugh!

2011-05-06T06:39:00.002-04:00

I'm learning parts of me for the first time. Having a baby on the way changes your priorities in all kinds of strange ways, but the main thing it does is focus your mind like a laser on what this impending little human will need. The needs of the one outweigh the needs of the many. To that end we realized that there just isn't room in our current place for another human, so very, very reluctantly we have started looking for a bigger place. Now every time we've had to move it has been a relatively easy endeavor. Mrs. Marius is a ninja at finding places within our means, but this time things aren't going so smoothly. It would appear that what we can afford, rental wise, is not considered to be very much in this area, and all we've been able to find are hovels in shitty neighborhoods, or nice places 50 miles away. We actually found a tolerable place this weekend, looked at it, endured both the real estate agent and the owner trying to push us to commit to moving sooner(which we won't do), put in an application, and have now been waiting for days while they don't get back to us. This is all very frustrating, and we have decided that no matter what happens we will be shifting into austerity mode, cutting out any and all non-essentials and putting every dime we can spare toward the down payment on our own place.

Dammit, this sucks!

Happy Friday, y'all.

30 Day Film Challenge-Day 30 - My Favorite Film This Time Last Year

2011-05-05T06:25:00.003-04:00

I have been scouring the lists of movies released between January of 2009 and May of 2010, and while there have been a few I really liked, and have even mentioned during this past month of posts, nothing really stands out as my fave. There were fun ones, like Star Trek, and Avatar and Sherlock Holmes. Great ones like Moon and District 9, and even the silly, yet surprisingly enjoyable How to Train Your Dragon. There were Kick Ass and Whip It, two films that I didn't really expect to like, yet was totally enthralled by, and there was Knight and Day, a film that will forever exist in my brain like a tumor as one of the worst films I've ever had to endure, but none of them even temporarily knocked 2010:The Year We Made Contact off the top of my cinematic mountain.

So, what else shall we talk about?

:-)

Roll A D6

2011-05-04T14:56:00.001-04:00

30 Day Film Challenge-Day 29 - My Favorite Film As a Kid

2011-05-04T06:08:00.002-04:00

This is something of a moving target since the phrase 'as a kid' is a bit squishy. When I was very young I think my favorite film was Chitty Chitty Bang Bang, but as a teenager it was Star Wars. But then again there was a period when The Computer Wore Tennis Shoes was my fave, or maybe the Love Bug movies, or It's a Mad, Mad, Mad, Mad World. King Kong would sometimes play on Sunday mornings, and I loved that, but so would Gunga Din or Robin Hood. The only thing I can say for sure is that I've never been overly fond of The Wizard of Oz or any movies about horses.

Clear?

30 Day Film Challenge-Day 28 - The Most Obscure Film I've Ever Seen

2011-05-03T05:51:00.002-04:00

I'm not sure quite how to quantify 'obscure' here, but the film I've seen that the least amount of other people I know have would have to be Al Pacino's 1996 exploration of the creation of a production of Richard The Third. Part performance, part documentary, it is a fascination glimpse into the process that goes into the process of bringing Shakespeare to life. It's been years since I've seen it, but I remember being blown away by Pacino's ability to actually play a character, as opposed to his cookie-cutter thugs he usually does. If you have any interest in how a play is made, or how a character is created, give Looking for Richard a look.

30 Day Film Challenge-Day 27 - My Favorite Independent Film

2011-05-02T06:35:00.002-04:00

Moon-2009-starring Sam Rockwell and, well, that's it, really. He plays a helium3 miner on the Moon, a solitary man operating a largely automated facility on a 3 year contract. His only company is the station's computer voiced by Kevin Spacey, and all seems to be going well until he makes a shocking discovery that threatens to destroy everything he believes is real.

Moon was made for $5 million and done with traditional SFX, and it looks beautiful. It feels like a Sci Fi short story brought to life on screen, and Rockwell's performance is nothing short of genius. If you missed Moon when it was in theatres, it is very worth a rental. Oh, Hell, just buy it. You won't regret it.

30 Day Film Challenge-Day 26 - My Favorite Foreign Language Film

2011-05-01T08:07:00.003-04:00

2008's creepy, surreal Swedish vampire flick Let The Right One In definitely takes the top spot for this category. It follows the story of Oscar, a 12 year old victim of bullying and ostracism, who meets Eli, a seemingly 12 year old girl who moves in next door. But she is not what she appears, and as people begin mysteriously dying, they form a very strange friendship. I like vampire movies, and this one is wonderful in its non-American way of telling a very disturbing tale. There is some blood, but no in-your-face, look at the guts vulgarity. There are scares, but they're mostly the 'crawl into your mind and poke around inside there' variety. It's very understated, almost calming, which makes the horror that much more effective. The DVD comes with an English dub, but I recommend you play the original Swedish soundtrack and read the subtitles as the performances are excellent...and the English dub is not. As for the US remake, Let Me In...didn't see it. Don't want to. I've already seen this story told in the best way possible...and you should too.

30 Day Film Challenge-Day 25 - My Favorite Documentary Film

2011-04-30T08:18:00.002-04:00

This has to be the classic rockumentary by Marti DiBergi, This Is Spinal Tap. This candid look behind the scenes at the world's most punctual rock band is a must see for any fan of music, rock, documentaries, or mime films. It chronicles the bands modest beginnings in Squatney, England to their Blitzkrieg tour of the world and other places in 1983. It beautifully captures the sights, the sounds, and the smells of one of the premier heavy metal rock bands.

30 Day Film Challenge-Day 24 -My Favorite Animated or Children's Film

2011-04-29T08:01:00.002-04:00

The Incredibles. Hands down. Pixar took the animation medium and owned it, and in my opinion The Incredibles is the acme of that ownership. It's a story of a family of superheroes who live in a world where heroes are no longer allowed to be super. It's a tale of middle-age crises, family togetherness, and finding out who you really are, and it is absolutely brilliant! Plus the extras are worth the price of the DVD alone! Kids will love this for the fun, and funny action, and adults will love it for the humor and performances. It's a win/win all around.

30 Day Film Challenge-Day 23 - My Favorite Thriller/Mystery Film

2011-04-28T06:20:00.002-04:00

This is not a genre I spend much time in, and I just had to use my Google-Fu to figure out if I've even seen any, but after an exhaustive search, most of which I've never seen, or hated seeing, I'll go with The Usual Suspects. I don't have much to say about it other than I liked it, and found the resolution to be satisfying. Like I said, not really my genre, but if you do like thrillers then check this film out.

30 Day Film Challenge-Day 22 -My Favorite Horror Film

2011-04-27T07:10:00.002-04:00

Horror's not really my bag, baby, but there are a few that I really enjoy, and the top of this, admittedly, short list is An American Werewolf in London. This John Landis masterpiece captures all the flavor of a good, old-fashioned monster movie with the Oscar winning makeup effects of Rick Baker for a film that will scare the shit out of you, while making you laugh at the same time. The cast is awesome: David Naughton and Griffin Dunne as the hapless American tourists who stumble into an English werewolf's hunting grounds, Jenny Agutter as the deliciously tragic nurse who falls in love with David, and John Woodvine as the incredulous doctor who must reassess his view of the natural world. Make no mistake, while this is a very funny movie at parts, it is also grim, gory, and truly frightening. And the transformation scene, which may seem familiar to you younger folks now since it's been copied in nearly every werewolf movie since, was groundbreaking:

Keep in mind that CGI was still years away. This was all done with prosthetics and a marvelous performance by David Naughton.

30 Day Film Challenge-Day 21 - My Favorite Sci-Fi/Fantasy Film

2011-04-26T07:14:00.002-04:00

As you might imagine, this was a tricky one. How could I narrow it down to just one? Well, actually, it soon became clear that there can be only one...Star Trek II:The Wrath of Khan. I tried to recall my first viewing of this movie, but I can't, and that puzzled me for the longest time, but I just finally figured it out. We were so disillusioned by Star Trek: The Motion Picture that even though there was no chance we wouldn't see Wrath of Khan, we didn't expect much. Boy, were we wrong! This film had everything a Star Trek fan could want. The characters got along and actually liked each other again. The uniforms were wildly impractical but looked awesome again. And the space battles were AMAZING! And then, of course, there is Ricardo Montalban's magnificently malevolent performance as the mad superman, Khan Noonien Singh. Sure it had plot holes you could drive a starship through, and silly melodramatic moments like Scotty bringing his injured nephew to the bridge instead of sickbay, but the overall feel and flavor was quintessentially Star Trek, and it remains my favorite Trek movie, and my favorite Science Fiction film.

30 Day Film Challenge-Day 20 - My Favorite Romantic Film

2011-04-25T06:38:00.002-04:00

I was just about to give up on this category, but I went to my DVD collection to see if there was anything there that could be considered romantic. I was almost to the end, trying to figure out if Wrath of Khan could be considered romantic in any possible way, when there it was...possibly the most romantic, yet fun movie of all time. The Princess Bride. This tongue in cheek swashbuckler starring Carey Elwes, Robin Wright, Mandy Patinkin, Wallace Shawn, Christopher Guest, Chris Sarandon, and Andre the Giant (among many, many others) is based on the book of the same name by the somewhat less than real S. Morgenstern, and is a beautifully shot, lovingly performed, and amazingly choreographed fairy tale that will thrill you, chill you, and leave you with a warm, fuzzy feeling in your heart that will last for hours. Rob Reiner's direction is flawless, as are the performances, plus it has the best sword fight since Flynn and Rathbone hung up their tights. If the phrases 'As you wish', and 'Hello, my name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my father. Prepare to die.' mean nothing to you, get a copy of this fantastic film NOW! And if those phrases make you smile and nod, dig the DVD out and watch it again...I'm going to.

30 Day Fiilm Challenge-Day 19 - My Favorite Action Film

2011-04-24T08:51:00.003-04:00

This is another movie that I actually remember the first time I saw it. Raiders of the Lost Ark came out in 1981 when Lucas and Spielberg could do no wrong, and we all awaited the premier with great anticipation. I can't recall which theater we went to, but I do remember the whole gang was there, including G, who was babysitting her 8-year-old nephew. At this point in time Spielberg had not created the need for a PG-13 rating, so we all assumed Indy would be family friendly. The genius of this film is it hits the ground running, and barely lets up until the final credits, but when the decomposing body of the archeologist Forrestal slides into the screen impaled on numerous spikes, and we hear Ben Burtt's brilliant, if icky sound effects G immediately freaked and asked 'What was this movie rated?!' As far as I know the movie did not have any lasting effect on her young charge, and we were all, G included, quickly sucked in to the genius that was Raiders. Some will claim that Last Crusade is the best of the films, and I won't quibble as I love it nearly as much, but since I consider both Raiders and Last Crusade to be equal as film, the first Indiana Jones adventure wins as my favorite action film on the power of having been first. It was a truly unique cinematic experience for my generation, and will always have a spot in my heart, and my DVD collection.

30 Day Film Challenge-Day 18 -My Favorite Comedy Film

2011-04-23T08:41:00.002-04:00

This one's easy. Young Frankenstein. Written by Gene Wilder, directed by Mel Brooks, this film should be used as a textbook example of how to do comedy. If you are unfamiliar with this movie it is a gorgeous parody of the 1950s monster movies, shot in black and white, and starring Gene Wilder, Peter Boyle, Madeline Kahn, Teri Garr, Marty Feldman, and Cloris Leachman. In most of Mel Brooks' movies there are a couple of gags that just don't work, and you overlook them because the rest of the film is so wonderful. There is not a single bad moment in Young Frankenstein. I could go off on a quote fest here, but I'll resist the urge. Suffice to say that this is my all time, hands down, no contest favorite comedy film. Now you take the blonde and I'll take the one in the turban! :-D

Oh, and I almost forgot this brilliant cameo by Gene Hackman.

30 Day Film Challenge-Day 17 - My Favorite Drama Film

2011-04-22T08:11:00.002-04:00

Those who know me would probably guess that the list of dramas that I like is short. I am an unapologetic escapist, so the drama category rarely entices me. I've never quite understood the desire to share in someone else's misery, so you will never hear the phrase, 'that was so great; I cried my eyes out' come from me. But, since there are a few dramas that I have enjoyed, and one that stands out, I give you Kenneth Branahg's 1989 masterpiece, Henry V. It may seem cliche for someone who works in Theatre to pick a Shakespeare movie, but to be honest I'm not all that huge a fan of the bard. I think his skill with words and poetry are still unmatched, but his abilities as a playwright were sadly overstated. But, be that as it may, Henry V is a brilliant bit of both directing and action from Branagh. He plays the young king as a man unsure of himself, yet determined to pursue his goals to the bloody end. The dialogue is spoken with a conversational, understated realism that makes Shakespeare's poetry shine, and the cast is the stuff of dreams. Derek Jacobi, Brian Blessed, Ian Holm, and a wonderful cameo from Emma Thompson along with hundreds of extras bring the, admittedly not overly accurate portrayal of the Battle of Agincourt to stunning, muddy, absolutely brilliant life. And Branagh's delivery of the St. Crispian's Day speech is nothing short of genius.

This is not a short film, nor is it always easy to watch, but it is one of, in my opinion, the best films ever made, and my favorite drama.

30 Day Film Challenge-Day 16 - A Film I Used to Love, But Now Hate

2011-04-21T06:39:00.002-04:00

Mel Brooks used to be funny. He's written and/or directed some of the most iconic, and hilarious comedies in history, and his send-ups of the movie making industry itself, such as Young Frankenstein, Blazing Saddles, High Anxiety, and of course Spaceballs were not only entertaining and laugh riots, they also exposed the sometimes ridiculous nature of the biz itself. So when he decided to poke fun at the popularity of Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves we medievalists and role players were ecstatic. Robin Hood: Men in Tights came out in '93, and I recall loving it, while at the same time realizing that Brooks's humor was showing its age. I think I only saw it once, but there were many a quote bandied about during the ensuing decade and a half. Well, a couple of years ago I found Men in Tights in the 'we can't give this shit away' bin at Wally World, and excitedly grabbed it. I flew home, popped the DVD in the player, and prepared myself for a gigglefest. Wow, was I wrong. Most of the jokes were either stale retreads from previous films, or were so grounded in the pop culture of that particular time in history(the 90s, not the Middle Ages) that they fell totally flat. And what wasn't a repeat or a reference to a long forgotten film was on the level of something a 12 year old might say to an 8 year old to try to get them to snort milk out of their nose in the lunchroom. While I love living in the future where we can revisit our faves from the past whenever we wish, sometimes memories are best left as just that...imperfect, inaccurate, but enjoyable memories.

30 Day Film Challenge-Day 15 - The Film That Depicts My Life

2011-04-20T06:54:00.002-04:00

I can't for the life of me think of a single movie that fits this category, so instead here's episode one of Jeri Ryan's new web series, Mortal Kombat: Legacy.

30 Day Film Challenge-Day 14 - The Film That No One Expected Me To Like

2011-04-19T06:43:00.002-04:00

I had to ask my wife about this and she said Big Fish. As she recalls I wasn't too keen on seeing it, but she really wanted to see it so I acquiesced. I was pretty shocked at how much I enjoyed it. It's a kind of twisted remembrance of a man's life as seen through the filter of a very active imagination. It's a Tim Burton movie, but contrary to much of his current work it is light, and bright, and mostly cheerful. While I don't feel much need to see it again, I remember enjoying watching it, and would gladly recommend it.

30 Day Film Challenge-Day 13 - A Guilty Pleasure

2011-04-18T06:08:00.002-04:00

I love the movie Ice Pirates. It's a silly, campy, sometimes stupid 80s send-up of Science Fiction films that take themselves too seriously like Dune or the Mad Maxx movies. It stars Robert Urich, Mary Crosby, Ron Pearlman (without tons of latex on his face for once), Angelica Huston, and many others. It takes place in a future where feudalism and technology are hand in hand, and water is so rare it is used as a commodity. It jumps around from seedy space bars, to imperial war ships, to desert planets and is replete with weird aliens, robots, and many a swashed buckle. It is very clear that the cast had a ball making this movie, and despite the fact that it is riffing on movies that think too highly of themselves, Ice Pirates never falls into that trap. This is a B movie's B movie, and I love to love it.

(this trailer makes the movie seem a lot stupider than it really is, but it's the only one I could find.)

30 Day Film Challenge-Day 12 - A Film By My Least Favorite Director

2011-04-17T08:32:00.001-04:00

This one I truly do not have an answer for, so here's the cutest video you will ever see of a baby penguin being tickled:

Starbaby Update

2011-04-16T09:08:00.003-04:00

Yesterday my wife was scheduled for her next ultrasound. As you may recall the last time we peeked into the oven, the little beastie was being modest and would not let us see the necessary bits. Any time you do an ultrasound there is the possibility that the baby won't cooperate, and will evade the scanner, so it was with no small amount of trepidation that we went into the darkened room. The blue gel was squirted onto my wife's belly, and we watched the big screen. Success! It took less than 10 seconds for the technician to zero in our our new daughter's, um, lady business. While neither of us had a particular preference, we are thrilled to be having a girl. Also the scan showed a properly formed, four-chambered heart. Ten fingers and toes all in the right places. Well formed arm and leg bones. A brain case of the proper size and shape, and an overall size and weight perfectly within expected norms. I usually decry normalcy, but in this case it is not only hoped for, it is a relief.
We will be naming the baby Sharon, after my mother, but we haven't settled on a middle name yet, but we do still have a bit of time to figure that out. The due date of August 30 has not changed.

Thanks to all of you for your wonderful support and encouragement, and I'll keep you posted as events warrant.

Love to you all,

Daddy Marius

30 Day Film Challenge-Day 11 - A Film By My Favorite Director

2011-04-16T08:52:00.003-04:00

Here's another category where I'm at a loss. I generally don't pay much attention to directors, mostly because when I have in the past they always end up disappointing me eventually. Tim Burton and Kevin Smith are two best examples of that. I loved both of their work, but eventually they seemed to fall into the trap of believing that they were more important than their movies, and they lost me. But there is one director who has yet to, as the British say, climb up his own ass...Guillermo del Toro. Not only have I loved his two Hellboy movies, and Pan's Labyrinth is sheer, if disturbing, genius, but he frequently uses his fame to further the careers of other filmmakers who might otherwise be ignored. Case in point El Orfanato. This brilliant ghost story was directed by Juan Antonio Bayona and probably would not have made it to American shores if not for del Toro putting his name behind it. I generally don't like horror, but this creepy tale of ghostly children and horrors from the past is a beautiful, disturbing, yet ultimately satisfying bit of story telling that everyone should see...just not alone.

30 Day Film Challenge-Day 10 - A Film With My Favorite Actor (Female)

2011-04-15T07:22:00.003-04:00

I do, actually, have a few favorite female actors, such as Jeri Ryan, Felicia Day, Zoe Saldana, and Heather Graham, but as for whom I would rank at the top of my faves it's a dead heat between Dame Judi Dench, and Dame Helen Mirren. Both bring an amazing gravitas and dignity to whatever roles they portray, yet both have a spritely sense of humor that keeps them fun to watch as well. If forced to choose one, I'd go with Mirren simply because she's been in more of my favorite movies, i.e. 2010 and Excalibur, and after seeing her in RED last year it's clear that her sex appeal has not diminished one iota with age. So I choose her performance in 2010 as my film with my favorite actor (female).

30 Day Film Challenge-Day 9 - A Film With My Favorite Actor (Male)

2011-04-14T06:49:00.002-04:00

Y'know, I'm sort of a mutant when it comes to favorite actors. I don't really have one. I'm not the kind of person who will see a movie just because so-and-so is in it. So I'll just pick a film with my favorite male performance, and that would be Enrico Colantoni in Galaxy Quest. Colantoni plays Mathesar, the leader of a group of aliens who think the actors in a popular TV SciFi series are actual space warriors and take them from Earth to their part of the galaxy to fight a war for them. It's a comedy, and is sometimes quite silly, and it would have been so easy for Colantoni to have portrayed Mathesar as a one-dimensional caricature, but through the odd vocal cadence and strange body language he brings such depth and truth to his character that I never once doubted him. Such commitment to a role is the sign of a truly talented actor, and he stands out as one of the brightest gems in this classic film. And this is, in my opinion, the highlight of his performance (around 3 minutes in)

30 Day Film Challenge- Day 8 - The Film I Can Quote Best

2011-04-13T06:28:00.002-04:00

Without a doubt it's got to be Aliens. "They mostly come at night...mostly." "Marines, we are LEAVING!!" "Game over, man!" "Nuke the sight from orbit. It's the only way to be sure." "Get away from her you BITCH!!" "Is this gonna be a stand-up fight, sir, or another bug hunt?" "Hey, Vasquez, you ever been mistaken for a man? No, have you?" "I keep this handy for close encounters." "You always were an asshole, Gorman." "Somebody wake up Hicks."

30 Day Film Challenge-Day 7 - A Film That Reminds Me of My Pas

2011-04-12T06:07:00.003-04:00

Well, all of these films so far have reminded me of my past, but for the sake of this post I'll choose one that always makes me think of my childhood...Blazing Saddles. Now I won't contend that a Mel Brooks movie is especially high brow or thought provoking, but at 7 or 8 years old I doubt I got most of the humor as we watched it on my dad's new Home Box Office (yes, kids, HBO actually means something) service. It had cowboys, and guns, and a big guy punched a horse...all good for a kid. But then there came a scene around a campfire that was the holy grail for pre-pubescent comedy. The cowboys are sitting in a circle, eating beans. Then one leans over and farts. Then another, then another. The flatulence increases in both tempo and volume until it is a veritable minuet of methane. Like I said, not exactly high-brow, but I remember laughing so hard I couldn't breathe. It would be years before I'd actually hear any of the dialogue that followed, and I still chuckle to myself at that scene.
Of course the rest of the film is a comedy classic, but that particular moment always brings me back to my childhood.

30 Day Film Challenge-Day 6 - A Film That Reminds Me of Somewhere

2011-04-11T06:43:00.002-04:00

Saturday, December 16, 1978. I was 14, and wanted to believe a man could fly. My mom dropped my brother and me off at the Village Green movie theater, each of us with $5 in our pockets for tickets to see Superman, which, at the time, was enough for the movie and some popcorn. The next two hours or so were amazing, even given the ridiculous portrayal of Lex Luthor, and we left the cinema elated. I remember walking across the parking lot, and leaping up onto the sidewalk, and being slightly disappointed when I did not keep going into the sky. Whenever I think about Superman, the movie, I think of the Village Green, and miss it. It was one of the first multi-plexes in our town, and it had, I think, 8 screens. My favorite being the one on the second floor that was reached by the steepest, narrowest staircase I've ever seen in a public building. It was located just off a major freeway exit, and across the street from the mall, but it had the worst parking lot design in history, and it was often easier to park at the mall and walk across the 6 lanes of serious traffic rather than try to get into the cinema parking lot. I have many fond memories of that place. It was where I saw Star Treks I and II for the first time, the above mentioned super flick, and so many others that they all blur in my memory. I might even have applied for a job there once or twice, though it never got me anywhere. It closed down a few years ago, and of all the cinemas that once were in my home town, I miss the Village Green the most. So if you ever find yourself passing through West Palm Beach, heading north on I-95 and approaching Palm Beach Lakes Boulevard, that Best Buy on your right used to be a window to other worlds, other dimensions, other lives both wonderful and terrible, and used to be the favorite place to escape for a short, pudgy, very blonde teenager who believed a man could fly.

30 Day Film Challenge-Day 5 - A Film That Reminds Me of Someone

2011-04-10T06:29:00.002-04:00

This is another category with a legion of answers, but I'm going to choose...and here I'm pausing while I try to actually choose...The Empire Strikes Back. Most of my all time favorite films are such a part of my life experience that I have trouble remembering the time before they were ingrained in my consciousness, but I remember going to the opening of Empire with Duke, and Targon, and Turtle, and Rico very clearly. Well, almost very clearly. I know I tried my best to dress like Han Solo (and I thank all the gods of technology that digital cameras were still decades away at that point) but I don't recall if anyone else in our group did. The cinema we went to that day, the Plaza Twin, I believe, is now a car dealership. The day was sunny, and not too hot for a South Florida May, and it stands out in my memory as one of those halcyon days of youth when a group of friends, totally unconcerned with a future that would scatter them hither and yon all too soon, took part in what would become a bit of pop culture history. We watched in rapt enthusiasm and afterward debated whether Vader was lying or not, and tried to mess with the folks waiting in line for the next showing by lamenting the death of Luke.(although none of us could keep a straight face) I don't recall what we did after, or how we got there, got home, etc. But when I think of my group of friends, all but one of whom is still close and probably reading this, that is one of my favorite, and most vivid memories.

Oh, and I'm also glad none of them have any pictures of my post-Empire tee shirt I had made. ;-)

30 Day Movie Challenge-Day 4 - A Film I Watch to Feel Down

2011-04-09T06:28:00.002-04:00

Why in the screaming Hell of Bratz dolls and My Little Ponies would I ever purposely watch something to make myself feel down?!

30 Day Film Challenge-Day 3 - A Film I Watch to Feel Good

2011-04-08T06:52:00.002-04:00

This one's easy...Steve Martin's wonderful modern fairy tale L.A. Story. It was a film that could easily have been missed, but it hit me at just the right time in my life, and on a day when things were going well, and I just loved it. The movie is about a television weatherman who is having a mid-life crisis while dealing with the surreal weirdness that was life in Los Angeles in the early 90s. It's silly, moving, sad, and bizarre, with lots of great cameos by people like Billy Crystal, Kevin Pollak, and even Patrick Stewart. It also was the big-screen debut of a very young, and surprisingly hot Sarah Jessica Parker. If you like sweet but slightly cockeyed tales that also paraphrase Shakespeare liberally, and take full advantage of their cast's talents, I highly recommend L.A. Story. It left me smiling for days, and still gives me a warm glow when I think of it.

30 Day Film Challenge Day 2: My Least Favorite Film

2011-04-07T06:12:00.003-04:00

Wow, this one is another toughie because, again, it depends on my mood. There are also so many totally shit movies out there it's kinda hard to pick just one. So to narrow the field I'm going to restrict myself to big-budget, big studio crapfests, and in this cinematic sewage treatment plant of Armageddons and Independence Days one turd sinks to the bottom to take the lowest place in my Pantheon of Putrescence...The Core. This film is so awful it can't even reside in the 'so bad it's good' category for me as the basic premise is so ludicrously preposterous, and the depiction of almost everything that happens in the film so unbelievably implausible that my willing suspension of disbelief muscles completely shut down after the first five minutes of the movie. The basic story is that something the military did has caused the Earth's core to stop spinning, thus depriving us of our magnetic field, and wreaking havoc on the planet. So a stalwart team of appropriately self-sacrificing scientists get in a homemade tunneling machine built out of 'unobtanium' that gets stronger the more it gets squished, or some such bullshit, and dig down to detonate some nukes and restart the core. Adventure ensues. And by adventure I mean 90 minutes of mind-numbingly stilted dialogue, brain-twisting ridiculousness, and the most improbable happy ending since Nicholson and Hunt got together at the end of As Good As It Gets. I cannot decry this film enough, and I urge you not to see it. Even if you get it free you will have lost nearly two hours of your precious and finite time on this Earth, and you will regret it.

30 Day Film Challenge-Day 1

2011-04-06T06:28:00.003-04:00

Several of my online friends are taking part in this, and it seems a good mechanism to get me posting again, so here we go. The challenge is to post about a film each day for a month using the following criteria:

Day 1 - Your Favorite Film
Day 2 - Your Least Favorite Film
Day 3 - A Film You Watch to Feel Good
Day 4 - A Film You Watch to Feel Down
Day 5 - A Film That Reminds You of Someone
Day 6 - A Film That Reminds You of Somewhere
Day 7 - A Film That Reminds You of Your Past
Day 8 - The Film You Can Quote Best
Day 9 - A Film With Your Favorite Actor (Male)
Day 10 - A Film With Your Favorite Actor (Female)
Day 11 - A Film By Your Favorite Director
Day 12 - A Film By Your Least Favorite Director
Day 13 - A Guilty Pleasure
Day 14 - The Film That No One Expected You To Like
Day 15 - The Film That Depicts Your Life
Day 16 - A Film You Used to Love, But Now Hate
Day 17 - Your Favorite Drama Film
Day 18 - Your Favorite Comedy Film
Day 19 - Your Favorite Action Film
Day 20 - Your Favorite Romantic Film
Day 21 - Your Favorite Sci-Fi/Fantasy Film
Day 22 - Your Favorite Horror Film
Day 23 - Your Favorite Thriller/Mystery Film
Day 24 - Your Favorite Animated or Children's Film
Day 25 - Your Favorite Documentary Film
Day 26 - Your Favorite Foreign Language Film
Day 27 - Your Favorite Independent Film
Day 28 - The Most Obscure Film You've Ever Seen
Day 29 - Your Favorite Film As a Kid
Day 30 - Your Favorite Film This Time Last Year

So, my favorite film. That's tricky since it kind of depends on what mood I'm in, but the most consistent disc I grab when I just want to watch something and have no particular agenda is 1984's sequel to 2001: A Space Odyssey, 2010: The Year We Make Contact. It's a wonderful little slice of Science Fiction at its purest, with fantastic performances by Roy Schieder, Hellen Mirren, John Lithgow, and Kier Dulea. It's an adaptation of Arthur C. Clarke's novel of the same name, and is quite faithful to the book. It's also an interesting view into what life was like during the Cold War, as even so visionary a writer as Clarke never foresaw the fall of the Soviet Union. All in all I love this flick, cheesy 80s special effects and all, and I will always own a copy.

Sucker Punch and Battle Los Angeles (there be minor spoilers ahead)

2011-03-30T16:38:00.004-04:00

Today was a rare convergence. It's my Spring Break, and it's one of my wife's regular days off, so we went to the movies. There were two movies out that we wanted to see, so we decided to see them both in one day. The first was one of the worst movies I've ever seen, and the second was, if not one of the best, certainly belongs in my top twenty. The first one we saw was Sucker Punch.

The title is pretty much how I felt when the end credits finally rolled. I have seen worse movies, but not many, and even fewer with the budget of this cinematic wankfest. I kept picturing the writer of the film being a 16 year old white virgin who watches only Quentin Tarantino films and plays video games. I picture a be-zitted introvert with a collection of fake Samurai weapons who thinks he wails with his 'chucks', and aside from his matronly mother has never spoken with a woman beyond a squeaky voiced order to the lunch lady. All of the women in Sucker Punch dress like they're getting ready for a Vegas fetish party, and the camera is frequently positioned just below and behind their fishnet bedecked butts. And even when we are in the video game-esque fantasy sequences there are more crotch shots than in a gynecological training film. And all of this adolescent objectification is wrapped in a story of such powerlessness and cruelty that you quickly wonder just what the fuck is the point. There is no real message, other than a schmaltzy voice over claiming that only you can prevent forest fires, or some other cheesy bullshit. To be honest I really didn't give a shit about anyone or anything by the end of this craptacular waste of money, time, and talent. Visually it's interesting, but not Watchmen or 300 interesting, and the worlds within worlds thing was hackneyed, ham fisted, and about as subtle and interesting as listening to a lecture on hemorrhoidal treatment. I have enjoyed many of Zack Snyder's offerings before, but this one will, I hope, quickly fade from my memory like a root canal that outlasted the Novocaine.

On the other side of the ledger we have Battle Los Angeles. Now this is how an alien invasion film should be made. The plot isn't complicated, aliens invade Earth and we follow a group of US Marines as they attempt to rescue some civilians in Los Angeles. The movie hits the ground running, and after a minimum of exposition to tell you who the leading players are, all Hell breaks loose and the action doesn't really let up for the next 110 minutes or so. The performances are spot on, the dialogue snappy and believable, the effects perfectly suited to the feel of the movie, and the ending does not feel one bit contrived. The pace is fast, but not so fast as to lose the audience, and it even manages to twang a heart string or two. I've heard folks criticize it for its lack of comic relief, but I never felt that. Whereas Sucker Punch had me checking my watch within thirty minutes, Battle Los Angeles flew by, and even though there is the inevitable comparison to Aliens to be wrestled with, I think this movie holds up quite well in that respect. It was well written, well acted, and very well edited, and I suspect I'll own the bluray once it comes out.

I will say this for these two films; I feel no need to equivocate on them. Sucker Punch is utter crap, and Battle Los Angeles is fantastic.

In my opinion, of course. Your actual mileage may vary.

;-)

Marius

Henry Rollins on Selling Out

2011-03-30T07:27:00.001-04:00

NSFW language, but I've never heard this put better.

USITT Lament Update

2011-03-19T08:40:00.002-04:00

So the initial response I received from my email of dissatisfaction was a politely worded version of 'Gee, sorry it sucked for you, but we'll see you next year, right?' About what I expected. Then, yesterday, in the midst of the craziness of playing catch-up I got another email from the man who books the workshops apologizing for the sound workshop, and saying they'll be sending me a refund for the price of the workshop. It's not much, compared to the price of the full trip, but it is a very nice gesture, and will go a long way toward my looking with a more friendly eye at next year's offerings.

There and Back Again

2011-03-13T08:51:00.004-04:00

So, this past week was...interesting. And just so we're clear I say interesting in the 'sucked balls' sense of the word. But first we need a bit of background. Sherman, set the Way-Back machine to last November or so. *insert the flashback sound and visual effects of your choice here. I prefer the Wayne's World version*

Deedley Dee--Deedley Dee--Deedly Dee

So every year I check the United States Institute for Theatre Technology website to see what sorts of classes will be offered at their annual conference. If the offerings seem useful, as they almost always are, then my school sends me there to get me some larnin'. This year the pickings were kind of slim, but one workshop stood out. Basic Sound System Design and Optimization. Now many people think that the stuff I do with lights is esoteric and difficult to understand(stop giggling, Deb), but to me, anyway, lights are child's play compared to the intricacies of sound. So I jumped at the chance for some formal training that would help us to upgrade our equipment, and to learn to use it properly. So I registered for the conference (just under $500) and the workshop ($125), and started looking for hotels. Unfortunately these conferences are always held in large convention centers which are usually in the middle of cities, in this case Charlotte, North Carolina. There are any number of hotels available, but they're always expensive. The first time I went to USITT I booked a hotel that was less than $100 a night, but it was so far from the convention center that what I saved in hotel fees I spent in cab fare, so it makes sense to spend a bit more and stay within walking distance of the venue.

The conference always runs from Wednesday to Saturday, but the workshops run either on Monday, or Tuesday, or sometimes both. The sound workshop was only on Tuesday, so I booked my $150/night hotel for Monday through Friday. Then I went to book my flight. I had hoped to fly into the main airport in North Carolina, but Charlotte is two hours away from there, so I had to fly to a smaller place where only the higher profile airlines go. Granted this is not my personal money, but it does come from my department's budget, so this was really making me uncomfortable. But, if it would help us get our sound system working well, it would be worth it.

Fast forward to the end of February. An email comes to all who are in the workshop letting us know that the time of the thing was being changed; no big deal; but it also came with a more in-depth description of the class. The word 'basic', it seemed, was something of a misnomer unless you already had a degree in acoustical engineering, and I realized that my working knowledge of how to run sound systems would probably not do me much good in this class. So I contacted USITT to see if I could cancel my registration. I was informed where to send a letter, and also that there was no guarantee that I'd get a refund. So rather than lose nearly a grand all tolled I decided that surely I'd get something out of the class, and the conference is always informative...right?

Wrong! Well, mostly wrong. I was right about the class. It was essentially an infomercial for a pricey bit of proprietary software, and covered absolutely nothing about system design beyond how the software interacted with the company's amplifiers. I tried to keep up with the information the very knowledgeable gentlemen were putting forth, but it was like being an auto mechanic who was suddenly dropped into a class on the proper tuning of a nuclear reactor. I understood most of the basic concepts, but the applications they were describing were quite beyond me.

Fortunately the class was only the one day, so I went back to my expensive hotel room to chill. And I mean that literally. There was a thermostat in the room that didn't seem to do anything. Then I began to learn that in expensive hotels, rather than there being more amenities then in, say, a Motel 6, there are less. No free WiFi, no free breakfast, and the restaurant in the lobby was expensive as hell. Just as an example their weekly drink specials included $4 drafts on Thursdays. That's the special price!!

Well, Wednesday was when the conference started, but there weren't any classes I wanted to take, so I wandered the city. There is a nice science museum and IMAX there, so that was fun. Then I puttered around my room and watched TV. Thursday was better, with useful classes and the opening of the vendors show room with its requisite SWAG hunt. If you've never been to a conference like this just about every theatrical vendor, from curtains to lights to stage floors and makeup, sets up a booth to hawk their wares. Many of them give away little goodies emblazoned with their names and web sites, and we geeks live for these bits of silliness. It's kinda like trick-or-treating as you go from booth to booth seeing what you can get, be it a rubber duck, or a highly compressed tee shirt, or just a pen or key chain. There were also interesting demonstrations of new equipment and materials, and everyone had a scanner that read a bar code on your name badge so now I'm on a dozen new emailing lists...some of which I even care about.

Friday morning had the last class I needed, and then it was straight into a cab and on to the airport. The flight home was uneventful, but I have rarely been so happy to get back from a trip. All tolled I wasted nearly $500 and three days of shop time to attend a useless and misrepresented workshop when I could have flown up Wednesday and come back Friday with the same amount of useful information. I have sent an email to USITT recounting the salient points of this tale, and I shall be looking much more closely at next year's offerings, but I fear this will have to go into the 'lesson learned' category of my life rather than the 'wrongs redressed' column.

But at least I got a cool rubber ducky.

Marius the Peeved.

Microbes 10 Humans 0

2011-02-28T06:01:00.002-05:00

Last week Mrs. Marius started coughing. The cough got worse, and worse, til finally she went to the doctor. The doctor, in a rare moment of insanity, told her she had a sinus infection (because those always make you hack up a lung every 30 seconds) and put her on antibiotics. Keep in mind that she's pregnant, which does have a negative effect on the body's immune responses at first, so I hoped I'd be spared sharing in her symptoms. Wouldn't that have been nice? No dice. By Friday I was in danger of coughing up my sternum and felt like I'd been gargling with barbed wire. So I went to the sawbones myself. Two swabs up the nose (no flu, thank Ipthar), and one bottle of very nasty antibiotics later and the weekend at Castle Marius sounds like a TB ward. I missed two days of work last week, as much out of weakness and general feelinglikecrappery as not wanting to share these lovely little viruses with my beloved and valued coworkers, so I did my best to take it as easy as possible this weekend. Saturday I felt a bit better, but my lady was worse, so she went in to the doctor again, and this time was correctly diagnosed with bronchitis. So we both spent most of the weekend doing nothing but coughing, wheezing, and expectorating. Don't you wish you were here? I did learn a few things during my convalescence, however. Firstly it seems that Law and Order has been in production since at least the late Middle Ages, and there are over 1.4 million episodes being shown in constant rotation on every known TV station. Secondly I,Robot was a much shittier movie than I remember. Thirdly, based on what I saw of the Oscars last night, Kirk Douglas died five years ago, but no one has told him yet. And lastly, don't schedule being sick at the same time as your pregnant wife. It really takes any hope you have of sympathy away.

See y'all at the morgue.

Marius the Unclean

AHHHH! ALIEN!!!!!!!

2011-02-18T06:09:00.003-05:00

So yesterday was the first 'big day' of our current gestational activities. I met my wife at the OB/GYN office, and soon we were ushered to the ultrasound room. The technician was very friendly, and the room pleasant and dim. There was a large flat-screen tv on the wall opposite the exam table, and soon we could see the image of our baby:

The technician took readings, got measurements and heart rate, and really did her best to try and determine the sex of the little creature, but he/she kept squirming around away from the scanner. She managed to get a good look at the baby's face, however, and as you can see in the upper right picture we are apparently going to be ushering in a new era of human/alien hybridization.

I just hope the baby's alien relatives are friendly.

Tee hee.

Daddy Marius

I'm A Dork?

2011-02-12T09:01:00.003-05:00

So here's the scenario, and to us geeks it is not an unfamiliar one. One of our graduates, B, has returned to work in the costume shop for the next few weeks. Toward the end of the day yesterday a friend of hers came into the shop. She brings him into my office, and she introduces us. We all chat for a bit, then he sees the cut-away poster of the Enterprise on my wall. His eyes light up and we start talking Trek. As we get more and more into minutiae, B's eyes roll more and more often, and then finally she utters those all-too familiar words, "You guys are such dorks!" Now I would never contradict this indictment, for it is verily truth, and I have heard it so many times in similar situations that I barely even notice it anymore. But as I was driving home something about this little tableau rose to the fore of my mind. B is an accomplished seamstress, and her current vocation involves traveling about the country on the Renn Faire circuit where she dresses in either belly dance or tavern wench attire and sells tiny catapults and trebuchets. She also makes and wears her own pirate get ups and entertains tourists down south a bit. AND she is currently working on making a fully functional mermaid tail for further use in faires and in the ocean.

Yet I'm the dork!

Miss Pot, my name is Kettle. Nice to meet you.

Tee hee.

Love ya, B.

Marius the Dorky

What is a Hero?

2011-01-28T08:05:00.005-05:00

The word hero, like so many other handy buzzwords, has been almost drained of its meaning by the bloodless, hyperbole addicted press of today. It seems anyone who meets an untimely death is dubbed a hero. I'm sorry, but the people who died in the terrorist attacks of September 11, 2001 were not heroes, although some probably were and we'll never know, they were victims.* The Chilean miners were not heroes, although the people that worked tirelessly to get them out definitely were, but you don't see any of them going to the White House. No, to me a hero is someone who consciously puts the well being and safety of others ahead of their own, and few people earn the moniker 'hero' like astronauts. Space is a very dangerous place, and getting there and back again is one of the most hazardous things a human being can do. Yet hundreds have dedicated their lives to just that. They climb into tiny, cramped tubes of aluminum, plastic, and foam, strap themselves to megatons of explosive force, and go into an environment that at any time can kill them in any number of truly terrible ways. And given how unfathomably dangerous this venture is, the US safety record is incredible. Out of the hundreds of manned space flights, including 123 shuttle launches, only 24 US astronauts died in the line of duty. Most of them are well known, since they died aboard the Challenger and the Columbia, but there are some you have probably never heard of. Pray indulge me as I take a moment on this, the 25th anniversary of the Challenger disaster, as I list these heroes:

Theodore C. Freeman
T-38 accident, October 31, 1964

Charles A. Bassett, II
Elliot M. See, Jr.
T-38 accident, February 28, 1966

Clifton C. Williams, Jr.
T-38 accident, October 5, 1967

(the T-38 is a small one or two man training jet)

Virgil "Gus" Grissom
Edward H. White, II
Roger B. Chaffee
Killed when their Apollo 1 capsule burst into flames during a ground test, January 27, 1967

Michael J. Adams
X-15 accident, November 15, 1967
(the X-15 was an experimental high speed/high altitude plane)

Robert H. Lawrence Jr.
F-104 accident, December 8, 1967

Francis "Dick" Scobee
Michael J. Smith
Judith A. Resnik
Ellison S. Onizuka
Ronald E. McNair
Gregory B. Jarvis
S. Christa McAuliffe
Killed when Challenger exploded on launch throttle up, January 28, 1986

Manley L. "Sonny" Carter, Jr.
Commercial plane accident, April 5, 1991

Rick D. Husband
William C. McCool
Michael P. Anderson
Kalpana Chawla
David M. Brown
Laurel Clark
Ilan Ramon
Killed when Columbia broke up during reentry, February 1, 2003

I won't go into why their sacrifices are not in vain, except to say that many of the technological advances that make life so comfortable, safe, and longer for you and me are directly beholding to the efforts of the people listed here. Because of them, and thousands of others like them, we enjoy a world that is cleaner, safer, healthier, and more enjoyable than would have been possible had mankind not looked up and asked, "I wonder what's out there". I honor these brave men and women today, and every day, for truly embodying the NASA motto: For the betterment of all.

*That is not meant to disparage the brave firefighters, police, and ordinary citizens who responded to the emergency and were definitely heroes.

Starbase Repairs

2011-01-24T06:56:00.002-05:00

Hi, Folks,
Please forgive this shameless begging, but the Starbase is in dire need. My computer is having serious problems, and the time has come that we need a new one to keep the show going. Unfortunately, with a baby on the way, what little discretionary income we have is dedicated to the impending birth. To that end I have set up a donate button on our show's website Starbase66.com so folks can kick in a buck or two to help keep the show going. If you listen, and feel we are worthy of a a few sheckles, please help. No amount is too small, and every penny, after PayPal gets its cut, will go directly into the show. And if you can't, that's groovy too. We still love you. :-)

We now return you to your regularly scheduled Internet, already in progress.

Peace, y'all,
Marius

Geekling Inbound

2011-01-15T08:01:00.005-05:00

So there is much news to report, oh amazingly patient and wonderful readers. First, and foremost, Mrs. Marius is with child!! I know I'm not supposed to say anything until the third month, and some of you will recall that back in the summer of '06 we had a pregnancy that went very wrong, but I've been bottling this up for almost three weeks now and I'm about to burst. She's about 7 weeks or so along, and there is a good heartbeat and she's quite obviously showing, and I can't imagine waiting another two months to say anything. I don't mind admitting that I'm a bit terrified. Even though I've been a step-father for 8 years now, this will be my first baby, and at my age that's a bit daunting. But I'm studying, and doing my best to prepare, so wish me luck. :-)

In other news my wife's computer, that the lovely and talented Celebhith gave us when we returned to Florida half a decade ago, finally croaked yesterday. So rather than go buy the new dresser we really need we bought a refurbished desktop at CompUSA. So I've spent a large part of last night and today loading, configuring, installing, and tweaking. It's working great for her, so her Farmville crops are safe. I am now trying to revive the old machine enough to use just for podcasting. I'm optimistic, but it might just be an exercise in futility...we'll see.

Finally I got a really groovy...well, to me anyway...book recently. If you are familiar with the Haynes series of auto repair manuals you'll find this amusing:

It's full of great pictures, diagrams, and descriptions of all the Star Trek Enterprises, and I'm really digging it. (you think my kid might grow up to be a nerd?) ;-)

Ok, that's all for today. What's up with you?

Smiles,
Marius

Love the Ones You're With

2011-01-11T06:41:00.003-05:00

2011 was getting off to a pretty good start...then tragedy struck. Last night I received a text from a very dear friend who moved to California many years ago. J requested prayers for her mother. Her mother, whom I've also known for years, was a vibrant, energetic, and very healthy woman who rode her bicycle hundreds of miles each week, went to the gym regularly, ate well, and was the last person I expected to hear of having a health related problem. I called J immediately and found out her mom had fallen ill and was in the hospital. Within an hour of that call she was gone. No one still knows why. If you are the praying type, please hold J and her family in yours. And everyone reading this please take a moment to tell those closest to you that you love them, or appreciate them, or make them a peanut butter and banana sandwich just out of the blue, because nothing is guaranteed in this world, and the healthiest person you know could be gone in a heartbeat.

And just for the record, I love you all.

Marius

End of Line

2010-12-29T10:32:00.002-05:00

And with this post I officially declare Blog Roulette both a success, and complete. My goal was to help prime the blogging pump for myself and anyone else who wished to participate, and my thanks to Stinkypaw, flurrious, and The Naughty Monkey for indulging me for December. I know your readers appreciated it, since I am one of your readers. :-) I am going to do my best to continue to post more frequently this year, and to try to be less of a downer as well.

Yesterday we got a very pleasant surprise. My friend A and his family spent the day at Busch Gardens, and since that is very close to us they gave a ring and we met for dinner afterward. We gathered at a Friday's near the park, and much joyous conversation was conversed, and many a tasty nom was nommed. I am very grateful that my closest friends of my youth are still my dearest friends now, and A is the one human outside of blood relatives that I have known the longest. We met in P.E. class at Lake Worth Community High School in, if I'm not mistaken, 1979 or 80. Neither of us wanted to be in the class, and I think it was either before or after having to run on the track we were chatting and discovered that we were both from Connecticut and both liked Star Trek. And we've been friends ever since. He and his family live a couple of hours south of me, and we don't get together nearly often enough, but when we do it's as if no time has passed. And his kids are totally groovy, too. (Hi G and D!) :-) And, of course, his wife, B, is an absolute treasure.

So there, something very nice to round out the year. On a somewhat crappier note we were supposed to go down to South Florida today, but I have contracted a crud that is making it unwise to travel, not to mention my desire to not share these particular microbes with anyone else. But, if all goes well and I can shake this thing, I will be going to Duke's for New Year's Eve. Then it's up to Tallahassee on Sunday to retrieve the young'n, and back to work on Monday. As usual, I'm more than ready to go back to work.

So, barring something amazing happening, this will be my last post of the year, so let me wish you all an amazing end of year blow-out if that is your plan, or a quiet night, if that is your wish, and a fabulous, prosperous, healthy, and all around magnificent 2011 to you all.

Lots of love and big hugs to everyone!!

Marius

Retroactive Humbug

2010-12-26T08:23:00.003-05:00

Yesterday kinda sucked. I didn't want to bum anyone out by posting a downer screed against Christmas, nor is that what this will be, but it's getting harder and harder to get into the spirit each year. Aside from the obvious wet blanket that is the anniversary of my mother's death, I actually miss the days when Christmas day began with a few hours of quiet, then the feeding frenzy of present opening, then the mad dash to squeeze in all the visits and food that decorum, familial obligation, and fraternal desire dictated. Christmas eve was the night that we friends gathered. There was a small group of us that have been friends since high school, and it became a tradition that on Christmas Eve we would join together, usually at C's house, to have 'our' Christmas. As the years passed, and we drifted further down our own paths, the Christmas Eve gathering became less well attended, especially by me as the currents of my random destiny kept taking me far afield. This year only C and K and his family got together, though I did join them via Skype for a wee bit. There is a new Christmas Eve tradition for me, and that is the annual Simply Syndicated Christmas Eve live show, and that is great fun, and very heartwarming, and always leaves everyone smiling.

Christmas day, however, was like any other day. The Missus had to work, so she was gone when Starbuck rousted me out of bed at 5:15. The young'n is with her father this year, so Santa didn't pay a visit, and the number of presents under the tree was identical to when I'd gone to bed. The Internet was a ghost town, with the occasional tumble weed of greeting drifting by, but I tried to stay positive. My wife got off work early, and we opened presents. I cannot complain about the magnificent haul of total geekitude I received this year:

And we spent the rest of the day watching movies, but it was a struggle for me to not let full-blown depression set in. At one point it dawned on me that the only time I left the house yesterday was to take out the trash. Now this is no different from any other Saturday, but when 8:30pm rolled around and my wife went to bed, and I realized that not too many years ago 8:30 would be when the evening's celebrations with those of us that could slip away from the post Christmas dinner comafest at home would begin. I'm too goddam young for 7pm to be the end of the fucking day! But the fact is that we don't really have any friends that live within an hour's drive. (and lest any of my students that are also friends read this and take offense, I mean friends that I can hang with at a moment's notice) So this is not just a Christmas thing, but Christmas is a lens for magnifying the things that are good in one's life, and the things that are not so good. We need to get a life. I'm sick of the inside of this house, sick of not ever doing anything but sit in front of this screen as the irretrievable moments of a finite life slip away in a fog of boredom and apathy.

Anyway, enough bleating. The purpose of this, other than letting me vent a bit, is to ask anyone reading this that might find themselves complaining that there is just too much activity/visiting/eating during the holiday season to consider the alternative. Sure it's restful, but so is a funeral.

Marius

Nice

2010-12-24T08:00:00.003-05:00

Y'all know I don't usually post stuff like this, but Stinkypaw has excellent taste in 'make you smile and get a bit misty eyed' stories.

This is my kind of Christmas Story!

I remember my first Christmas adventure with Grandma. I was just a kid. I remember tearing across town on my bike to visit her. On the way, my big sister dropped the bomb: "There is no Santa Claus," she jeered. "Even dummies know that!"

My Grandma was not the gushy kind, never had been. I fled to her that day because I knew she would be straight with me. I knew Grandma always told the truth, and I knew that the truth always went down a whole lot easier when swallowed with one of her "world-famous" cinnamon buns. I knew they were world-famous, because Grandma said so. It had to be true.

Grandma was home, and the buns were still warm. Between bites, I told her everything.
She was ready for me. "No Santa Claus?" she snorted... "Ridiculous! Don't you believe it! That rumor has been going around for years, and it makes me mad, plain mad!! Now, put on your coat, and let's go."

"Go? Go where?" I asked. I hadn't even finished my 2nd world famous cinnamon bun.

"Where" turned out to be Kerby's General Store, the one store in town that had a little bit of just about everything. As we walked through its doors, Grandma handed me ten dollars. That was a bundle in those days.

"Take this money," she said, "and buy something for someone who needs it. I'll wait for you in the car." Then she turned and walked out of Kerby's.

I was only eight years old. I'd often gone shopping with my mother, but never had I shopped for anything all by myself. The store seemed big and crowded, full of people scrambling to finish their Christmas shopping. For a few moments I just stood there, confused, clutching that ten-dollar bill, wondering what to buy, and who on earth to buy it for.

I thought of everybody I knew: my family, my friends, my neighbours, the kids at school, the people who went to my church. I was just about thought out, when I suddenly thought of Bobby Decker. He was a kid with bad breath and messy hair, and he sat right behind me in Mrs. Pollock's grade-two class.

Bobby Decker didn't have a coat. I knew that because he never went out at recess during the cold weather. His mother always wrote a note telling the teacher that he had a bad cough but all us kids knew Bobby Decker didn't have a cough, he didn't have a good coat.

I fingered the ten-dollar bill with growing excitement. I would buy Bobby Decker a coat! I settled on a red corduroy one that had a hood to it. It looked real warm, and he would like that.

"Is this a Christmas present for someone?" the lady behind the counter asked kindly, as I laid my ten dollars down.

"Yes ma'am," I replied shyly. "It's for Bobby." The nice lady smiled at me, as I told her about how Bobby really needed a good winter coat. I didn't get any change, but she put the coat in a bag, smiled again, and wished me a Merry Christmas.

That evening, Grandma helped me wrap the coat (a little tag fell out of the coat, and Grandma tucked it in her Bible) in Christmas paper and ribbons and wrote "To Bobby, From Santa Claus" on it

Grandma said that Santa always insisted on secrecy. Then she drove me over to Bobby Decker's house, explaining as we went that I was now and forever officially, one of Santa's helpers. Grandma parked down the street from Bobby's house, and she and I crept noiselessly and hid in the bushes by his front walk. Then Grandma gave me a nudge. "All right, Santa Claus," she whispered, "get going."

I took a deep breath, dashed for his front door, threw the present down on his step, pounded his door and flew back to the safety of the bushes and Grandma. Together we waited breathlessly in the darkness for the front door to open. Finally it did, and there stood Bobby.

Fifty years haven't dimmed the thrill of those moments spent shivering, beside my Grandma, in Bobby Decker's bushes. That night, I realized that those awful rumours about Santa Claus were just what Grandma said they were: ridiculous. Santa was alive and well, and we were on his team. I still have the Bible, with the coat tag tucked inside: $19.95.

May you always have LOVE to share, HEALTH to spare and FRIENDS that care... and may you always believe in the magic of SANTA CLAUS!

Give back - what you can, where you can, whenever you can.

But Is It Fun?

2010-12-21T07:14:00.003-05:00

Many years ago a movie called Deep Blue Sea came out. It was a cheesy Sci Fi/horror flick about genetically altered sharks that eat a research station. It starred Samuel L. Jackson and for some reason I actually went to the theater to see it. It was not in any way, shape, or form a good movie, but I had fun with it and never regretted seeing it. The trouble came when my friends asked me what I thought of it. As I recall I merely said I liked it. This translated into 'this is a good movie you should go see'. Which they did. They still give me shit for telling them it was a good movie, which I never said, but it did teach me to put tons of disclaimers in front of saying I enjoyed a movie.

In my younger years I was a terrible movie critic, especially with franchise films like Star Trek or Star Wars, but I've found I've mellowed a lot over the years. Two very prominent examples of this are AVATAR and TRON:Legacy. My wife and I saw TRON at the IMAX (there are far too many all caps things in this post) on Friday morning, and I was blown away. The 3D is nice, the film is gorgeous, and the soundtrack is stunning, but the story does not do anything but provide a framework for the technical aspects. And that's fine...for me anyway. It was fun. More and more I've been judging movies by that metric. Was it fun? I've seen lots of fun movies lately. The Expendables, R.E.D., AVATAR, TRON, Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows, Iron Man 2, Predators, even The Last Airbender (but to be fair I had never seen any of the shows on TV so the plot was tabula rasa to me) were all a fun time. Conversely if a movie isn't entertaining me it doesn't matter how amazing the performances are, I tune out. Some people have tried to get me to 'expand my horizons' and watch 'good' movies, but I've found that my boredom threshold has risen drastically, and I have little patience for films I don't like. If we're at home, and I can just jump on the computer while my wife finishes the movie, it's fine. But if we go to the movies, and I'm not enjoying the film, and I can't leave for one reason or another, I get angry. Knight and Day, with Tom Cruise, was TERRIBLE, but my wife was enjoying it, so I kept quiet, and was in a horrible mood for the rest of the day. So now I am growing less shy about saying no to movies I know I won't enjoy. I'm very lucky in that my wife tends to like the same movies I do, and is very accommodating about not forcing me to watch stuff I'm not into, so Knight and Day was a rare thing, and I don't hold it against her. Although I do still kind of grumble that she made me go see Transformers 2. ;-)

So what's my point, you may well ask? If I rave about a movie in any of my online outlets, or even in person, please understand that just because I liked a movie that does not mean that it is a quality film. On the other hand just because I didn't like a movie, it does not follow that the film is crap. I release into the universe that my opinions of movies, music, books, food, and anything short of orgasms(because really, who doesn't like orgasms) is strictly subjective. Your actual mileage may vary.

And now I'll go make some breakfast. If you don't like breakfast you are wrong and a terrible person.

:-)
Marius

Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows, Pt. 1

2010-12-17T05:46:00.003-05:00

So yesterday, after several abortive prior attempts, I finally saw part one of Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows. I enjoyed it, quite a lot, actually. It seemed, to me, to be an entertaining encapsulation of the book, as much as I remember anyway. Those who know me in the 'real world' know that my memory isn't always the best, and unless a television or film franchise has the word star in the title odds are my recall of details will be sketchy. Most of the time I find this frustrating, but with the Harry Potter movies it's a positive boon. I have read, and enjoyed all the books, but J.K. Rowling crams so much stuff into each book that I only remember the general outline, so I don't always notice the changes, embellishments, and/or omissions of the films. That being said, however, I don't think you can really enjoy The Deathly Hallows without having read the book first. The movie, for all its sluggish second act, moves at breakneck speed, glossing over important details that will matter later. If I didn't already know the gist of what was going on I'd have been lost.

As far as the performances go I must disagree with many people who have said that Daniel Radcliff, Emma Watson, and Rupert Grint are all washed up. I think they did an excellent job in this movie, especially Watson. Granted these kids have been playing their respective roles for nearly half their lives, and we'll have to see if any of them go on to try their hands at other roles(yes, Radcliff has been doing stage work already) but I had no trouble believing anything they did or said in this movie. If anything it was the 'adults' who pulled me out of the film at times, especially Helena Bonham Carter's Bellatrix LaStrange. In the previous movies she was over the top, but not as cartoonish as she was in this show. But that's a minor quibble. The truly telling thing was that this two and a half hour long film didn't feel like it was that long to me. I was enthralled and entertained, and am very much looking forward to the second half. If you are a fan of the films you will like this one. If you have also read the books, so much the better.

And now, or in a few hours anyway, we are going to see TRON at the IMAX. I'll give a full report later.

Peace, y'all.
Marius

Zardoz Doesn't

2010-12-12T05:50:00.004-05:00

When I was 12 or so I was given a book of Science Fiction movie trivia quizzes. It was mostly Star Trek and Star Wars with a smattering of other things as well. I had at least heard of most of the other movies, but for some reason the film Zardoz stood out as one I'd never heard of. Maybe it was because it included the above picture of Sean Connery in a diaper, but that name stuck with me all these years hence. I'd heard it was a classic. I'd heard it was terrible. I'd heard it was a film Connery would like to forget. Well, I've finally seen it, and it is definitely two out of those three. It was released in 1974, and apparently had a budget of about $20, most of which seemingly went to the local pot dealer. The story, as far as I can tell, is about a far future where the world has been separated into the technological, and immortal elite, and the radiation ravaged rabble, and in between a race of exterminators who worship a giant floating stone head called Zardoz. Connery plays one of the exterminators who inexplicably ends up inside the stone head, and then is taken in to the elite society for study, and adventures ensue. And by adventures I mean two hours of head scratching, breasts, and inexplicable plot twists that either mean the film makers were stoned out of their minds, or were really hoping the audience would be...or both. In its favor the story is very reminiscent of some of the best post-apocalyptic books of the era, and I can see where legendary schlock junkie, John Boorman, was going with the film, but the execution of the story is so clunky and disjointed that rather than being an interesting and cautionary tale about the dangers of scientists playing god, it is more the cinematic equivalent of a Doors album. You don't have to be high to watch it, but it probably helps a lot. I blame Stanley Kubrik, actually. 2001: A Space Odyssey was brilliant, but even today it baffles people as to the 'true' meaning of some of the scenes, especially the ending. So it only follows that lesser film makers have adopted the philosophy that if the audience cannot figure out what's going on, they'll just assume it's high art and sing its praises. Not so with Zardoz. The Netflix write up calls it a 'cult classic', but I can't imagine sitting through it a second time, but then again I no longer partake of the substances that might make that an enjoyable giggle-fest. There is a lot of 70s style nudity, which means breasts, but even there the attempt to make the sexual subplot about a 'wild man' being introduced to a sexless and sterile society is, well, flaccid. About the only plus to the movie is that Connery spends the majority of his screen time wearing only his orange panties, so if you find a bit of Bond beefcake to your liking, this film is a feast. If not, might I recommend Silent Running or The Omega Man for your 70s SciFi needs.

Back to you, Stinkypaw.

Merry...um...yeah, whatever.

2010-12-08T06:33:00.003-05:00

We haven't put up any decorations yet. We've bought some presents, and my wife has done some wrapping, but festivity has yet to visit Castle Marius. I've been trying to get in the mood, but this is the time of year that I feel my mother's absence most. She was always the fuhrer of festive in our house. Left to us, the men-folk, the ornaments would never leave their cardboard tombs. Trees would stay outside, and lights would be simple illumination devices. But every year, almost before the last turkey sandwich was eaten during the post-Thanksgiving week, she'd initiate passive-aggresive-Christmas-mode. She'd go out to the garage, and some time would go by, and then you'd hear a great huffing and puffing and scraping and then you'd see her struggling to bring the tree box into the house. My brother, father and I would all inwardly cringe as we knew what was about to happen. If we didn't immediately go all North Pole on the house she'd crank her guilt rays up to 11 and sigh and moan, but never actually tell anyone to do anything, ultimately getting us up on chairs, and chasing the cats away from the ornaments, and actually having a pretty good time decorating. The house would be all glittery and twinkly, and completely commercially acceptable by any and all advertising agencies, and the nativity we've had all my life would be on the little table between the kitchen and living room, just waiting for the annual "let's put a wind up monster in the back and see how long it takes for her to notice" game.

But here, now, I'm the motivator of the holiday cheer, but I'm not very motivated. My wife likes it when the house is decorated, but it never occurs to her to actually get them out and decorate. The young'n doesn't seem to care one way or the other, and so far I just can't generate enough 'wanna' to get it done. I know, as Shakespeare says, 'tis common. Everyone, in an ideal world, will lose their parents, but it was too soon, and the third anniversary of her death is near.(even as I look at the word third I can't believe it) Hopefully once the winter break begins and I begin to decompress from a very taxing semester I'll grow less grinchy. Something that has already helped in that area was a lovely, and unexpected package that arrived from the Great White North. Mdme. Stinkypaw, that shining beacon of wonderfulness in Quebec, sent me a jar of DELICIOUS homemade ketchup and some amazing cookies(that met a terrible demise last night)and a card(above) that proves that I have quite accurately depicted Starbuck herein. Merci beaucoup, my blend. :-) And speaking of Mdme. Stinkypaw, tag! You're it!! :-)

Ebeneezer Marius

This Was Too Good Not To Steal

2010-12-05T07:54:00.002-05:00

This was lovingly swiped from Camille Reads, a wonderful blog by a groovy lady in Pennsylvania. Check her out, you won't be sorry, unless of course you are a bigot, or racist, or any other type of narrow minded douche...but then again I don't think you'd be here if you were. :-)

The following was found on Craig's List (the post is now removed):

A mutual friend of ours threw a big party for her 30th birthday, tons of people were there and it was a lot of fun. Somewhere along the line you and I ended up on the balcony for some fresh air at the same time. We started chatting; we talked about sports, books, tv – discovered we both are about to start our masters degrees and spent some time debating the pro’s and con’s of the educational system. We talked about hanging out sometime, and you wanted to meet my girlfriend.

I understand how upsetting it was for you when I blinked mildly in surprise and said I was here with my husband. I know it was a shock to your system, if your face had turned any paler I might have called 911. You made a good recovery though - that hurried mutter of “I’m not like that” was very polite and you only knocked over two drinks and one vase in your hurry to rush to anywhere other than near me. I can’t blame you – I forgot how delicate you straight boys are. So I wanted to give you a few helpful hints about where you went wrong last night.

1) As a general rule we don’t walk around with big signs around our neck proclaiming our sexuality. No scarlet letters, no scent of hellfire and brimstone… sorry about that.

2) We do not generally assume that everyone within 5 feet of us must also be homosexual – it was nice of you to immediately reassure me that you are hetero, but it was really unnecessary.

3) Homosexuality is not infectious. While I am sure you meant no disrespect with your hasty departure; in the future you can rest assured that taking a few extra seconds in your mad dash for safety will not result in you being turned gay. It will however keep you from destroying expensive vases and knocking over senior citizens.

4) This next one may come as a surprise; but you are not, in fact, irresistible. The fact that you have a dick does not instantly turn me into a bundle of uncontrolled lust. Contrary to popular opinion, being in the same room with a straight man does not cause a gay man to instantly lose all common sense and basic common courtesy. Though I am not so sure about the reverse.

5) Homosexuals in general get a little irked when people treat us like some sort of leper. Rushing to another mutual friend of ours and advising him of my sexuality, so he could be “forewarned” was really uncalled for.

6) Upon being told (by said mutual friend) to stop being an idiot and that you were not my type anyway… it generally confuses the issue when you then proceed to become upset that I DON’T find you attractive. Three seconds ago you were running through a crowd of people with your hands cupped protectively over your junk as if I might attack you at any moment with a blowjob. See hint number 4.

7) We homosexuals have an odd sense of humor – I can’t help that. Something about watching you freak out as if all the demons of hell were after you just struck me as vastly amusing.

8) While being pissed at me for dissolving into uncontrollable laughter might be understandable… gathering a couple guys together to “teach the fag a lesson” is not.

9) You might also want to drink a little less and be a little more careful about the guys you approach for your little proto-hate-mob.

10) Assuming the two tall muscle-bound bruisers must be uber-hetero and just as appalled by my presence as you was your first mistake. It was an understandable one though. How were you to know that pflag tshirt the first guy was wearing wasn’t a sports team? Also the rainbow ring the second guy was wearing could have meant anything I am sure.

11) In retrospect I suppose that upon hearing your not very subtle hate-talk and seeing who you were heading for; I could have said something instead of just laughing harder. I apologize for that. I should have just introduced you to my husband instead of letting you walk up to him and ask him if he wanted to help you teach “that fag over there” a lesson. I hope that broken nose heals up cleanly.

http://lansing.craigslist.org/rnr/1797870768.html

That's Why I'm Here

2010-12-05T07:18:00.002-05:00

I live in Florida. That's no secret. Most of the year I wonder why the Hell I keep coming back to this totally effed up state. The population is a strange spectrum ranging from the obscenely wealthy to the most pathetically impoverished, many of whom are certifiably insane. We are in The South(tm), but don't really have a culture of our own. There is no Florida accent, or mode of dress(despite what shows like Miami Vice liked to try to pretend), or traditions (unless you count hurricane preparation a tradition), yet every time I've left this wacky peninsula I've been drawn back, and I cannot give a good reason why. It's not the food, cause there isn't a particular cuisine. It's not the cost of living, as it's not that cheap down here. It's a long drive to just about anywhere, and traveling cross-state is like stepping into a time machine with no guidance system. Modern metropolises(metropoli?) bordered by small towns that make rural Alabama seem cosmopolitan all squeezed into the ever shrinking areas not awash with swamp, mud, and prehistoric monsters. So why do I stay here? I don't know, but reading the tweets and blogs from the rest of the world helps right now. It seems that Winter has arrived with a vengeance, dumping heaps of snow and misery on the less temperate regions of this planet, and though come the lead-melting days of August I'll look back on this post and shake my head in ironic wonder, it's actually rather pleasant here now. Temperatures are low enough to warrant turning the heater on, and wearing some heavier clothing, but at its worst a Florida winter is uncomfortable. Sure we had some long freezes last year that took a toll on the citrus crop, but to the average Floridian it was more annoying than dangerous. You never hear of homeless people freezing to death here, or see the numerous youtube videos of cars careening out of control on the icy roads of Miami. Granted we don't get to build snowmen, or have snowball fights, or wake up to see the still pristine white blanket turning what was once a familiar landscape into a sparkling alien vista, but I also have never bought a set of snow tires, or had to winterize my vehicle. So yeah, it's so crazy in this state that Fark.com has its own 'Florida' tag for the insane stories that emanate from here, I guess it's the climate that keeps me here.

Oh, and yeah, some of the people I love the most live here, too. ;-)

Over to you, Stinkypaw.

Spinnnnnnnnnnnnn....click!

2010-12-01T06:30:00.003-05:00

And Blog Roulette begins. In amongst all the annoyances and pains we've been dealing with here at Castle Marius of late there is a ray of grooviness. A couple of months ago I decided I am sick of being a fat ass. So I just stopped eating garbage. Every day for lunch I eat carrots and celery and cheese. Every night I eat only one helping of dinner and try to make as many low-fat foods as possible. And no snacking after dinner. And for breakfast I have a burrito of cholesterol-free eggs with fat free sour cream, salsa, and Swiss cheese. Just doing that I've lost 15 pounds! And I gave blood a couple of weeks ago and my cholesterol is down. I feel better, and I have had to retire a couple of pair of pants since they fit like tents now. So that's a triumph, methinks. AND I made it through Thanksgiving weekend without a major backslide. Yay me! ;-)

Of course there was the sad news that Leslie Neilsen passed away, but I noticed that most of the people on twitter and Facebook that mentioned it did so by saying, "Leslie Neilsen died? Surely you can't be serious!" What a wonderful tribute that even in death he brought laughter. His career spanned every genre of TV and film, running from the deathly serious to the painfully silly. His filmography on IMDB.com is 11 pages long!! A brilliant, multifaceted career, and by all accounts a truly nice man. His was truly a life well lived.

And now I pass the keyboard to Stinkypaw. Make sure you all tune in to her blog tomorrow.

Peace,
Marius

Blog Roulette

2010-11-28T07:08:00.003-05:00

Now where did I put that gauntlet? (rummages through antique foot locker, pulling out various intriguing yet vague ideas and items, sets each aside until...) AH! There it is. It's a bit moldy, but the leather is unbroken, and with a little mink oil and some elbow grease...be right back.

{time passes}

Right! OK, here we go. I propose a game for the month of December. I call it Blog Roulette. As the wonderful, and herculean Naughty Monkey has proven this NaNoPoHoGoFloCrowShow posting every day has become something of a daunting task, so starting December 1st I shall post something, then on the 2nd Stinkypaw shall post, then flurrious, then Monkey, then it shall rotate back to me, etc. Of course, if anyone else wishes to join, or if any of you lovely and talented blogstresses would rather not, it's all good. But this will give us all a daily post of newness to read, without the pressure of posting daily. Of course extra posts will be most welcome, as well. My blends...the gauntlet is thrown. What say ye?

And Now a Brief Intermission

2010-11-20T08:04:00.001-05:00

This reminds me of my senior year in college.

More Thievery

2010-11-18T06:13:00.002-05:00

Can you fill this out without lying?
I stole...I mean borrowed this from Stinkypaw. Feel free to gank it yourself:

Last thing you drank?
That wondrous elixir of life, coffee.

Last store you went to?
Target...I needed new underwear due to losing more than 10 pounds lately.

Where was your default picture taken?
Two houses ago.

Last person you rode in a car with under the age of 20?
Um, that'd be the COA* I guess.

Can you play guitar hero?
Dunno, but I wail on the Rock Band drums.

Name someone that made you laugh today?
The only creatures I've interacted with so far are the Kitties-O-The-Apocalypse, and they haven't told any jokes yet.

When was the last time you saw your best friend?
It has been waaaaay too long.

How late did you stay up last night?
11:30 or so.

You could move somewhere else, would you?
In a heartbeat!(England, Australia, The Carolinas)

Which of your friends lives closest to you?
Not sure, actually. Most of my close friends live within 1-4 hours of me.

Do you believe ex's can be friends?
Most of mine are.

Do you like calling or texting better?
Texting. It's quicker.

How do you feel about Dr Pepper?
It exists, people drink it, but I have no emotional reaction to it whatsoever.

When was the last time you cried really hard?
When my mom died.

Where is your biological father right now?
Supposedly in a cemetery in Massachusetts, but I've never been there so I don't know for certain.

Where are you at right now?
At home

What bed did you sleep in last night?
My own

What was the last thing someone bought for you?
Ummmmmmmmmmmmmm, my wife got some groceries I needed yesterday.

Who took your profile picture?
C'est moi!

Who was the last person you took a picture of?
Some of the cast of Call of the Wild

Was yesterday better than today?
As I've only experienced about an hour of today I cannot tell.

Can you live a day without TV?
I have many times.

Are you mad about anything?
Not currently.

When was the last time you were extremely disappointed?
Must we dwell on the negative?

Are you a bad influence?
I used to be, now I seem to have stumbled into role model territory, and I'm not so sure that's a good thing.

Night out or night in?
A night out would be welcomed.

Are you more of an individual or an outgoing person?
These are not mutually exclusive, therefore the question is invalid. Please hang up and try your call again.

What items could you not go without during the day?
Lungs.

When was the last time you were in the hospital?
I picked up my wife two days ago from one.

Have you ever thrown shoes on a telephone wire?
Nope

What does the last text message in your inbox say?
Buy more minutes!

How do you feel about your life right now?
Meh

How many times have you been pulled over by the police?
3 or 4, I guess.

Do you hate anyone?
Probably not.

If we were to look in your inbox, what would we find?
Emails, what would you expect to find?

Last person you talked to on the phone?
The Missus.

Can you easily tell if someone’s fake?
You mean like mannequins or wax statues? Sure.

How's your heart?
Beating properly.

Say you were given a drug test right now, would you pass?
Yeah, I'm a boring old man now.

Has anyone ever called you perfect before?
Not to my face.

What song is stuck in your head?
Deceiver by Disturbed

Someone knocks on your window at 2 am, who do you want it to be?
Either Superman or Spiderman, since the bedroom is on the second floor.

Wanna have kids before you’re 30?
Too late for that!

Name something you have to do tomorrow?
Same thing I do every day...try to take over the world!

Can you whistle?
Yes

Do you sleep on your side, stomach, or back?
side

What gets in your way of your sleeping?
Starbuck

Are your eyes the same color as your mom's or dad's?
My mom's, I think.

Has anyone ever told you that you have pretty eyes?
Yup

Do you think too much or too little?
It depends on the situation, but usually too much.

Do you smile a lot?
Yes

Who was your last missed call on your cell phone?
You sure are obsessed with my cell phone. Do you work for Verizon or something?

Are you happy with your life?
Meh

Can you handle the truth?
Even if I can't, I need it.

Do you get 8 hours of sleep everyday?
AHAHAHAHAHA! That's hilarious!

What was the last book you read?
Dracula the Undead, by Dacre Stoker

Do you hate the last guy you had a conversation with?
Not in the least.

Is there something you usually wear?
You mean besides the Mickey Mouse three-fingered gloves?

What were you doing 30 minutes ago?
Making coffee.

Honestly, who was the last person to tell you that they love you?
My wife

Did you have an exciting last weekend?
I wouldn't call it exciting, but it was eventful.

Have you ever crawled through a window?
Indeed.

Do you like yourself?
Most days

Are you wearing a bracelet?
Don't own one.

Are you an emotional person?
I can be

What's something that can always make you feel better?
Star Trek

Will this weekend be a good one?
Ask me on Monday

Have you ever worn the opposite gender's clothing?
I'm just seven hours old, truly beautiful to behold, and somebody should be told, my libido hasn't been controlled...

Look behind you, what do you see?
Stairs

Have you ever worked in a food place?
I did my time in Purgatory during my 2.5 year stint at Taco Viva in the 80s.

What would you name your future daughter?
Luthien Tinuvial...that's why my wife will handle that occurrence should it arise.

Any summer plans for 2011?
Nothing confirmed yet.

Did you lie on any of your answers?
No

*Child-O-The-Apocalypse

Peer Pressure

2010-11-07T07:12:00.002-05:00

Well, it seems most of my blogging compadres have posted something in the last 24 hours, so I feel honor bound (read:guilt tripped) to do likewise. I know it's NaNukPukeMookaLook month again, but I've been so busy that I barely have time to indulge in peristalsis and a few other autonomic functions, let alone blog every day. So let me explain...no, there is too much. Let me sum up. The show we are running, an adaptation of Call of the Wild, has been beset by the demons of fuckuppery almost from the get go. Things went relatively smoothly until just before we started technical rehearsals, which is when we bring all the elements of the show together the week before opening. Long days and nights are the norm for tech week, but this one was especially awful due to technical problems, electrical anomalies, and the theft of a $500 rented strobe light by some cocksuckers unknown who I sincerely wish to read of their untimely yet embarrassing demise due to autoerotic asphyxiation someday. Now normally I'd say that at least we got the show up and running on time, which we did, and with a minimum of blood, which we didn't. It's true that my crew and I shed very little of the red stuff on this one, although I did inflict numerous annoying yet minor injuries upon myself, but the cast has been brutalized. This is a very physical show, and most of the cast play dogs in the Yukon, so there is a lot of running, and barking, and fighting, etc. And those that don't play dogs are frequently on stilts to simulate the view a sled dog has of the drivers. Every night someone has gotten hit, or twisted, or abraded, or fallen, or sickened to the point that I am keeping ice and bandages on hand just in case. But I have to say that, despite some unusual backstage dramas, the cast have been absolute troopers about the punishment this play is dealing them, and my proverbial hat is off to them.

As for why my work load is so pressing, our Design/Costume teacher, who is very pregnant, was quite unexpectedly put on complete bed rest by her doctor two weeks ago. We had anticipated that there would be some times when she'd be out, and I had agreed to take over her classes when she couldn't be there, but none of us expected her to be totally gone until further in the semester. So now I'm teaching every day of the week, and trying to keep up with her class materials as well as my own. I'm sure it will all be ok, but I'm a bit overwhelmed by it all right now. Fortunately, now that the show is up and running, I can focus on the academics, and hopefully catch up with her schedule as well as my own, and manage to squeeze in a podcast or two as well. These are, indeed, interesting times.

How is your Autumn going?

Marius

Sweet Addiction

2010-10-26T06:04:00.003-04:00

The ritual usually begins somewhere between 10 and 11pm. I want to go to sleep, but then I realize I haven't prepared tomorrow's fix. Raising myself from either my chair, or the couch, I shamble like a refugee from a Romero flick to the kitchen and begin the process. Remove the leavings from that morning, rinse both carafes, one large, one small. Paper filter for one, permanent filter for the other. One and a half spoons full in the small pot, two in the large. Push the delay button, then off to bed. I'm not usually around for the first event, as my wife gets up at 2am, hence the two pots, but when the Kitties-O-The-Apocalypse untimely rip me from my sleep, and I stumble downstairs to the refrain of mews and purrs, there awaits that modern marvel of automated technology, the steaming pot of freshly brewed coffee. I can already feel that slight thrill through my sleep-addled synapses as I grasp the handle of my china mug, emblazoned with the so familiar delta and circle pattern and registry of a certain mythical starship, and empty into it the powdered contents of one pink paper packet.(yes, folks, I use saccharine. deal with it) Then that magical moment when I feel the weight of the full carafe in my hand and pour the life giving brew. A dash of milk, and thence to the computer.

Recently we had to retire our first large pot. It was a sad day as it seemed to have learned my preferences and did not make coffee that was too hot to drink right away. Of course, that was a symptom of its impending demise, but it was still nice. We now have a shiny new Mr. Coffee that makes very hot coffee, so I must wait a bit. I surf, read email, then, finally, that blissful moment arrives when the light brown nectar before me reaches the maximum palatable temperature, and those first tentative sips are allowed. It's almost like foreplay to my system, just a tiny sip, not too much lest pain follow hard on the heels of pleasure, then back to the illuminated rectangle. Gradually the sips grow larger as the temperature drops, until that wondrous, glorious, life-affirming moment when the coffee reaches that perfect condition where a mouth full is sheer joy, and the swallowed brew feels like it is flowing to every cell in every part of my body at once, bringing with it a crescendo of power and life that readies me for all the challenges of the coming day. Then, almost sadly, the sight of the bottom of my mug, gleaming like the bones of a battlefield corpse, meets my gaze and I realize the cup is drained. The house is silent for a moment, save for the soft susurration of the computer's fans. It's as if the world is holding its breath in anticipation or remembrance, and a moment of sadness comes upon the morning at the passing of this wonder of the beverage world. The cat mews, a bird calls in the distance, then all is quiet. And then, slowly at first, the corners of my mouth begin to climb upward as realization hits like a thunderclap...there's more coffee in the pot!

And there was much rejoicing.

Good morning, y'all.

Marius